the asians are coming, the asians are coming



look, asshole,

crouching tiger, hidden dragon wasn't

our one shot at love.

it's the precursor

of what's to come.



"oh, hey, it's cool to like these asian people, as long as they're being asian on the big screen, and they're in asia, and it's a long time ago, and they're speaking asian (thank god for subtitles), and they're fighting and i love fighting, but some of it seems a bit far-fetched--thank goodness i saw keanu reeves do that shit first in the matrix, and who cares if they're kissing, as long as they're kissing other asians, i have nothing to worry about."?



wrong, motherfucker, 'cuz we're not just on the big screen in the kung fu flicks you adore, we're the ones who actually saw that film 5 fucking times at 9 bucks a pop, 'cuz we were amazed that our faces weren't on the big screen fighting in the vietnam war, and we're not just on the big screen lady from oregon. we're cleaning your clothes, we're programming your websites, and we're getting into your schools--for free. raise the bar and we'll meet it. and we're not just chinese. and most of the chinese are reading the subtitles, too, 'cuz it's in mandarin. and we're not just kissing other asians. our mad sexy asses are getting play all over the ethnic spectrum- how the fuck do you think rob schneider, the rock, and keanu reeves were made? and you know what? it's never gonna stop.

[continue]



-beau sia-