Thursday, April 28, 2005

cause the fact of the matter remain that i miss the hypnotic. how does hypnotism work? anybody know? if you could hypnotize anyone, the world would be yours. need money? just convince the bank to give you some. need friends? convince people to like you. anything is possible. in fact, after watching a master hypnotist at work, you get a little scared. you start to think "wow, i just saw him totally mind control those people, how powerful is this guy?" professor x could telepathically control people but he's fiction (arguably). hypnotists however, really can control people. i've witnessed it, dozens of times at the del mar fair and on various tv shows.

but never, never in all my life have i seen a friend get hypnotized to the extent that i saw babbs hypnotized. he brought over a tape from ninety seven of a hypnotist show he was in. babbs and his friend, thomas, got super hypnotized. like way under the weather. like they were *poof* gone. they, along with ten other suckers, were so far under the influence that they were doing the craziest shit i've ever seen. the video is pure gold. trust me. it's the funniest piece of video you'll ever see. fuck seinfeld, fuck christopher guest, fuck chris rock. this video is the shit. i laughed so hard and so often that i woke up this morning with my voice missing. it's that good folks. once i figure out how to convert this treasure to indestructible dvd format, everyone must see it. it's unbelievable. and of course, babbs is the undisputed star of the show, even back in the day. this tape is ridiculous. i would describe some of it to you but it does the show no justice. if you've ever thought that babbs himself was hypnotizing, wait till you see him hypnotized. superlatives fail me.

this question came up: when you're hypnotized, is it more likely that your inner self is revealed (alchohol anyone?) or your most comfortable self is displayed? we postulated that it made more sense if your most comfortable self emerged. so if you're a guy crazy horny bastard, then that's what you'll appear to be onstage. if you're mean, spiteful and insecure, that's what you'd be under hypnotism. in order to be hypnotized, you have to be comfortable with the actions that you're undertaking. you can't make people do what they don't want to do. presumably.

and why are certain people much more susceptible to hypnotism? does this mean that they're more comfortable with themselves? easier to control? weaker of mind? more trusting? what causes one person to be hypnotism resistant and another to be a total hypnotist's floozy? much research will be conducted on this topic. for now, just know that a tape of babbs exists that will make you laugh till you die.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

oh the places they'll go. have you seen cameron diaz's new show "trippin"? on this mtv exclusive program, ms diaz takes a diverse group of celebrities on globe hopping environmentalist expeditions to places like nepal, chile, butan and honduras. the celebrities have to carry their own bags, they don't get hotel rooms, they skip out on pilates...it's wild how down and dirty famous people can get. of course, they also get to hang out with trained dolphins and see some of the most beautiful places on earth so i'm not sure if they're really devoid of "any luxury." and really, having jessica alba or eva mendes along on a trip is always a luxury -- and to think i've been happy just bringing along my gameboy on trips.

the best part of the show would seem to be the wonderful destinations that cameron and crew get to explore. "their itinerary includes traveling to the glaciers outside of patagonia, sand-boarding in the atacama desert of chile, riding elephant-back in the grasslands of nepal, competing in an archery competition in bhutan and relaxing in the hot springs within the last remaining intact ecosystem in the united states, yellowstone national park." but in reality, the best part of the show is watching eclectic groups of celebrities hang out. chile with drew barrymore, make-up artist gucci westman, farnsworth bentley (who, i'd bet, was forced to carry everyone's bags and umbrellas) and pro skateboarder eric koston? sounds intriguing. eva, redman, blink-182's mark hoppus, and hoppus' wife sleeping with spiders in nepal? whoa, freak out.

the show i watched yesterday featured jessica alba, kid rock, hockey legend chris chelios and pro surfer kelly slater meeting up with coral reef protectors in honduras. basically it was the "how many times will jessica alba appear in a bathing suit" show. but i was above that, i never squinted or stared once. i was more interested in the interpersonal dynamics of the group. how does a semi-random selection of five celebrities get along? do they behave like normal people? are they cool? would i want to hang out with them? i mean, are they worthy of hanging out with me?

it turns out that kid rock is the life of the party and probably someone you'd enjoy travelling anywhere with. he's got guitar game, humor game and says stuff like "please refer to me only as 'the american bad ass' please." chris chelios was the quiet robin to kid rock's batman. jessica was just out of it. her job was to look sexy, pouty and to shield herself from cameras by hiding behind big sunglasses or floppy hats. one could say that she was disinterested in the whole earth day thing but i'd like to think that she's just shy. after all, she was the first one recruited by cameron, due to jessica's "extensive environmentalism experience." ms dark angel has been scuba certified since the age of thirteen -- bet you didn't know that.

and poor kelly slater. he looked like a fish out of water. do you think kelly and kid had some pamela anderson issues going on? i'd like to think so. kelly said nary a word during the episode and it seemed like he was the fifth wheel -- looking lost aside the detroit duo of rock/chelios and the female tanning solidarity of cameron/jessica. i think cameron just invited him along for free surf lessons when they hit costa rica. that's what i woulda done.

the end of the episode featured a gratuitous shower scene where all five celebrities rinsed off in really cold water. totally lost my attention. luckily, new episodes will feature rebecca romijn, justin timberlake, mat hoffman, dmx and other sure to be exciting famous folk. don't miss an episode with your captain planet team leader, cameron diaz, who was apparently just playing herself during all the charlie's angels movies. she really is that quirky and clumsy. but oh so endearing. and she really really cares about the environment.

which four celebrities would you want to see cameron take along on her next trip? that's the question i'll be pondering all week. remember, you have to include at least one obscure semi-celebrity (wife of real celebrity, makeup person, pdiddy's umbrella holder, etc), one extreme sports star and one hot chick. go. alternately, you could just daydream and figure out which four celebrities you would take along on your perfect vacation, *cough*, environmental excursion.

i'll tell you the celebrity i least expect to see on one of these trips: j-lo, jennifer lopez, whatever. there's no way she's carrying her own bags and giving up wearing furs and not having her nipples tweaked by an assistant every five minutes. just no way. the dodo has a better chance of appearing on trippin than j-lo. god i love mtv. now if only they would do an inferno three with real celebrities instead of mtv generated celebrities, that would be awesome.

"paris and mary-kate/ashley (either one or both), since neither of you won the life shield, tonight you'll be facing off in the inferno!"

oh wait, i said real celebrities.

Monday, April 25, 2005

ah, push it - push it real good i've never heard of jeff chang until about a week ago, and now i want to know all about him. an asian american who has written an amazing book about the history of the hip hop generation? who is this guy? his research and writings on hip hop are beyond impressive.

i expected his book to be a slender volume covering the basic history of hip hop but when i received it, the book turned out to be a huge textbook-ish tome. and "can't stop, won't stop" informs you like a textbook, giving you in-depth views from the very beginnings of hip hop -- much of it from a political perspective. "can't stop, won't stop" isn't the hip hop bible (maybe it's the hip hop iliad though), or the most comprehensive history of hip hop, but that's not what its supposed to be. what it is is an amazing read, and i'm only halfway through it -- all done in one sitting, due to the writing and subject being so engrossing. if you have any interest in hip hop, real hip hop, i'd highly recommend this book.

and this jeff chang guy, outrageous. he's like my new hero.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

t-e-i-a-m. i miss teamwork man. that's really one of the things that i don't get enough of these days. a group of people working towards a common goal. teamwork as in getting together with a group of your friends to do something constructive. maybe it's throwing an event, maybe it's making a project, maybe it's working together to hand out CDs, whatever. teamwork is hard to come by nowadays. my friends in other cities are a part of teams -- music groups, dance groups, magazine start ups, entrepreneurships, families. while it may not always be fun and games, working with other people for a common purpose always reveals interesting group dynamics.

i think that once you put people into a position where they have to work together, and not just hang out together, all sorts of personality issues arise. some people turn out to be sour grapes, some people can't take any stress, some people don't pull their weight, some people emerge as unsung heroes, some people turn out to be natural motivators, it's just an interesting thing, to be able to see a different side to your friends. that's why watching the real world / road rules challenges can be so interesting. you're seeing the gamer side of everyone, not just their social side. actually, most of the time we're only seeing their gamer side. is someone a bitch or a snake? that quickly becomes apparent. is someone super manipulative? as omniscient viewers, we're able to see that before most of the other players realize it. and it's interesting how your view of these people can be (dis)colored by their success on missions. karamo may be the nicest, coolest guy but man does he suck at missions.

and with teamwork comes accomplishment, ideally. once you've put in the time and the effort, you've got something to show for it. in my experience, accomplishing something usually brings people together. it builds memories of success, it fosters warm and fuzzies, it makes a mark. more often than not, a project over-succeeds -- and that feeling, that feeling of "wow, we did a great job" is worth any of the drama that you had to undergo.

that's why i think about the leadership camps that everyone used to go to. the ones with the frightening rope courses and the stupid "make twelve legs, three feet, sixty five fingers and then walk on these planks" objectives. those were fun, those were memorable, those revealed. it's also amazing how many people are actually really terrible teammates -- i may have to blog this separately. i would say that maybe sixty percent of people are bad teammates, with twenty percent being okay, ten percent being good and the last ten percent being stellar. that's a whole lot of bad to average teammates.

the closest i get to teamwork nowadays is playing basketball -- and even that's usually ninety percent miscommunication and ten percent actual teamwork. but even in those brief fleeting moments, it's amazing to feel like you did something together. and i suppose playing wingman/wingpeople could count as teamwork but that isn't really a team success even when it's a team effort. it's more of a "my turn, your turn" exchange of efforts. and some people feel that teamwork at work can replace actual teamwork, but i disagree. at work, you have a designated leader, you have a set hierarchy, you have your "work mode." so that's not a team, that's a formal delegation.

for me, the best part of working together towards something is undoubtedly when someone you don't expect totally steps up and becomes a star. you don't see it coming at all but then someone suddenly emerges as the most significant cog in the machine. that's just great. i love it when people get a chance to shine, and i love it more when that moment is totally unexpected. like, "wow, did he really just do that? i had no idea he was capable of that."

yo joe.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

what teachers make
i make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
i can make a c+ feel like a congressional medal of honor
and an a- feel like a slap in the face.
how dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

i make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

you want to know what i make?
totally like whatever, you know?
in case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about?
or believe strongly in what you're saying?
invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? you know?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

gods and monsters. you realize that if we lived in a different society, some of our celebrities would be considered gods and goddesses? if shaq was part of a warrior culture, his size and athletic prowess would make him the most feared man on the planet. you don't think the spartans would have deified a physical specimen like shaq? he would've only been the most powerful warrior ever. there would have been epic poems and stories of his exploits. like the time he killed an elephant with his left hand while eating a ham sandwich with his right. or the time when he annihilated twenty men with one blow from his flamberge. instead, in our society, shaq is the jolly black giant, ridiculed for his movies (not to mention his music), hated for his success and given only begrudging respect. do we realize how amazing shaq is? probably not. in ancient greece, statues of shaq would already have been erected, statues on scale to the colossus of rhodes. imagine that.

and what about someone like mariah carey? here's someone who has come under fire for her movies, her music and her mental instability. but mariah could have been a goddess. forget about her looks -- always a matter of personal preference -- her voice alone would have made her the favored handmaiden to apollo. her gift of song would have elevated her above mere mortals and she would have been given all the respect and adoration she deserves. instead she's in front of us, the mercurial public, in dresses that get skimpier and skimpier, talking about how this is "the real her" while critics snicker and vilify her.

every time i read my pulp fantasy books, they describe men of incredible physical stature and women of unsurpassed beauty. they talk about men who are well over six feet tall and built like adonises. as you looked over the ranks of the immortals of persia, it was said that "each man seemed more handsome and well built than the last." these ten thousand soldiers were the finest of the fine, the creamiest of the cream. but tell me, have you seen ten thousand men together who could be described as mentioned above? it would be like having ten thousand brad pitts standing shoulder to shoulder -- and as all women could attest, there's only one brad pitt.

the same applies for women. descriptions of ancient heroines tend to depict them as perfection personified. that's hard to imagine right? we have some statuesque celebrities, but perfect? not very many. who do we have nowadays that might be up to the physically perfect challenge of resembling tall lithe grecian beauties? i'd say maybe charlize theron? she's five eleven, beautiful in every way, she would qualify right? but there aren't that many charlizes around. would britney be a goddess? c'mon now, let's not make each other laugh.

but maybe they had different standards then. anyone with good teeth, semi-luxurious hair and functional eyeballs might have been considered a great beauty. and maybe we have a skewed perception of adonises because we see muscle bound six footers every day. maybe we can't see the gods and goddesses among us because we've evolved as a society to value everyone equally -- regardless of their physical beauty or extreme talent. but i think we've lost some admiration for the human gifts that god has placed among us. why subject mariah and shaq to the vicious celebrity cycle of admiration followed by mockery? why not elevate them to the status of demi-gods and enjoy them for what they are? who cares if they're not amazing in every respect, as long as they're divine in one? must we bring everyone down?

ok fine, i admit it, i like mariah okay?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

i disagree with your view that we are all just selfish beasts in turning inwards when we supposedly ought to be extending ourselves out to someone in emotional need. i think that generally, we avoid really considering the myriad of thoughts and feelings harbored inside, opting instead to focus on exactly what you claim we never do -- think about other people's conditions. we obsess about the answers we might give or recieve in response to that nasty question, "how ARE you these days?" we chatter constantly about who's seeing who and what they think of whatshername, we gossip incessantly whether we admit to it or not. we live in a culture disturbingly preoccupied with staying safely outside a single person's individual feelings or insecurities.

you might counter with "but what about all that self-help crap and the ginormous emphasis set on 'expressing oneself'?" i say that this is and was never about turning inwards and questioning one's own thoughts and emotions; rather, i think its all become about churning something out that will neatly fit with everyone else's expectations of what one ought to feel and think given a situation.

why are self help books so damned popular? it's not because we are selfish in having a genuine interest in our own emotions and idiosyncracies...it's because we seek out some sort of commonality with other people so that we are able to normalize whatever is bubbling up inside. we seem to have grown accustomed to supressing all the untidy parts of our inner thoughts so that we may cheerily say, "oh, i'm fine. how are YOU?" we are selfish by thus joining in this socially agreed upon deception.

so, when we learn of something absolutely terrible that jolts us, we momentarily forget to do the former. for a bit, the gauze we've wrapped about ourselves tears just a little..enough for the questions and fears and worries we work so hard to contain rush out and smack us in the face. i think that it's during these times of reflection we are most truthful to ourselves and each other. sharing someone's pain means more than asking after it...it means acknowledging its affect on yourself as well.
-excerpted from a friend's email-

Friday, April 15, 2005

cinema paradiso. one of my goals for 2005 was to watch a movie by myself. i'm not a do anything by myself sort of person, so i figured watching a movie by myself would be the first step toward exploring the whole song of myself experience. what i've found is that whitman is right, being alone is grand. not only did i watch my first movie ever by myself, i watched three of them in a row. million dollar baby was followed by be cool and then by sahara. back to back to back. i feel like a champion. i would have gone for a four-peat (sin city) but i figured maybe i should go join the ranks of the living. i had stayed at the theatre so long that the shifts had turned over at the concession stand. so when i went for my nachos and gummi bears -- after popcorn and slurpees -- the staff didn't even notice that i was the same guy from five hours ago.

there's a real freedom in watching movies by yourself. no covert glances to the side to see if your friend(s) is enjoying the movie. no need to worry about what another person wants, no need to worry about where to sit. i sat in the middle, the back and then the very first row. i ate popcorn with relish, i carelessly dribbled cheese on the seat next to me, i threw napkins around like confetti. i was a movie watching mess and i loved it. plus i really got into each movie, even if they weren't terribly good -- with the exception of million dollar. i would never watch a movie like sahara, but since it was three doors down and starting right after be cool, i said to myself "why not?" and yup, why not? everyone should spend a day at the movies.

it also helps to have a sidekick on you to coordinate movie times. and to check reviews and to aim/text with people to ask if a movie is even remotely worth watching. ideally i could bring my laptop into a movie theatre but that may be too conspicous. having a sidekick was real handy and helped wile away some of the less excellent movie moments. i did turn my sidekick off during million dollar baby though, so that i could truly be alone -- so don't worry, i didn't cheat on my "alone at the movies" experience.

during this experience, it occured to me that going to the movies alone isn't really that weird. forget the "it's [going to a movie] really not about interacting with people" thing, going to the movies should be about the movie and not the recreational activity it's become. directors like spielberg and tarantino spent their youth going to movies by themselves. they watched john wayne westerns back to back. most movie theatres had double features and it was standard to see two movies for the price of one. i'm on a mission to bring back that aesthetic, but i'll one up it, three movies for the price of one. i'm kicking it up a notch. bam?

i think watching movies in a theatre pays respect to the film. a movie is supposed to be experienced with a giant screen and dolby digital surround sound. forty inch screens and top of the line speakers at home -- sadly, not at my home -- is not good enough for me. i want a theatre sized screen and sounds so loud that i can't think straight. i want full immersion for my movie experience, i want to get into it. directors put a lot of thought into the details and i want to appreciate a film the way it was meant to be appreciated. not on an airplane, not on a little screen in the corner of the room, not with laundry whirling in the background, i want to be engulfed by a movie. watching a movie at home is like looking at postcards of a faraway destination. only by viewing a movie in its full theatre glory can you actually be fully transported somewhere, even if it is to the sahara, with an overly bronzed matthew mcconaughey.

Monday, April 11, 2005

for whom the bell tolls. it's begun, the downsizing at work. well, it's only been one person so far but the finger of fate will point to at least a few more lucky bastards this week. the question is, how do i respectfully request to be laid off? "here, lay me off, keep one of the other guys around, i don't even really want to be here, thanks." i've figured out that i'll make almost as much unemployed as employed. what's a few dollars when you can be lounging by the beach, instead of jerking around trying to look productive for eight hours a day? a few extra bucks sacrificed for a summer of fun? fair trade i say.

my project officially wrapped two fridays ago, and it was finalized last friday -- game to be released tomorrow. so, from here on out it's boredom central. no more overtimes, no more seventeen hour days, no more weekend work, no more work period? cross your fingers my friends. i've been setting myself up with summer plans pending unemployment but what if they call my bluff and keep me around? dammit, i can't get anything right, not even losing a job. i'm not that good at what i do, really. my head's right there, drop the damn blade already. no hard feelings, honest.

i've heard stories about how people get fired in this industry. group meetings outside, then half the staff gets cut and nobody can go back into the building. i've heard about how they change your password and disconnect your consoles as you're talking to HR. there are no security escorts like they have at major corporations but it's still kinda funny. i've already moved all my personal email and files to my usb drive. i'm trying to be one step ahead of the game. half the guys are out of the office anyway, as we take our rotational three day comp time. so really, we're not sure who's still employed and who's not. we think another guy might have been laid off but his collection of toys is still at his desk. "oh he must be okay, luigi, yoshi and mario are still here." that's how we know if someone is probably still here, by his video game paraphernalia. "wait, did they take his halo cup away? are his gamer magazines still there?"

it could be an exciting week, i'll keep you posted.

Friday, April 8, 2005

outed. as defined by a close colleague, closet friends are "two people who are much better friends than they appear to be to the outside world." the type of friends who everyone says "oh, i didn't know they were close." this is not to be confused with friends who make no sense. these are two people who don't really seem like they would be friends at all, but yet are closer than peas in pods. that's an entirely different category. the question associated with that pairing is "wow, how are they friends? i don't get it."

so being closet friends, how is it? do closet friends enjoy the mystery of not appearing like they know each other well? or do they stay away from each other for a reason? maybe they have a secret friendship where they talk behind people's backs all the time. or they get together for events only by themselves. most often, closet friends comes about from two friends who used to hang out a lot, but don't anymore. so when you see them, they don't look like they're that close but in fact, they have quite a history.

another difference is the halfway friend. the person you're not quite one hundred percent comfortable with, but you've known them for so long that you should be that comfortable. so it's like you're supposed to be good friends, and might call each other semi-good friends, but when placed together, there's an uncomfortable air between the two of you. as if the knowledge that you should be closer but aren't really, makes a transparent barrier of unease that everyone can clearly see. even though it's transparent. yeah, not sure how that works. it's like you can't see the invisible man, but you know he's there. lurking. and breathing. and being, invisible.

Wednesday, April 6, 2005

games, oh, ee, oh, oh, oh, games, games, games, games, games. i'm into spades, the card game. it's got all the basic ingredients i need in a game. it's got some strategy, it's got teams, it's got the opportunity for trash talking, it requires a touch of skill but luck still plays a large part in determining your fate. i used to be a big fan of hearts (the chinese version) but that got too boring. now the only card game i can sit through is poker. which doesn't really count as simply a card game. or magic, which is really not favorably looked upon in my social circle anymore. ignorante.

anyway, i think spades is about to be king. i've heard bridge is even better than spades but the image i have of bridge players is old people sitting around at the la jolla cove bridge club. i'm not ready to be one of those people yet. one of the greatest parts of spades is the fear of fucking up. because you work together with a partner, your outcome will be heavily influenced by how good your partner is. if they suck, you're likely to lose. if they're good (and you're good), you might achieve a level of teamwork that borders on the telepathic. i love that, when you work with a team and everyone is on the same page.

dork alert: i used to love it when you caravaned on the freeway and people would just follow each other but weave in and out of traffic. and then when an exit was about to come up, the quick flash of the hazard lights or the brights would signal the need to pay attention, or serve as a call and answer farewell.

basically anything in life that enables a group of people to form a gestalt just makes me atwitter. you're so excited that all the cogs are working together but then also nervous about not fucking up your part. i've fucked up my part before and it wasn't pretty. you feel like utter shit when you're the one that throws the wrench into the machine, fouling up what was previously a smooth running monstrosity. and then when you see someone else mess up, you forgive them but also hate them -- if only for a split second.

oh but the successful side of teamwork is so great. the perfect basketball pass, the perfect complementary spade move, the perfect insidious observation, i love it all.

Monday, April 4, 2005

second to none. there are some skills that everyone envies. singing, dancing, muscial ability, artistic talent. i think everyone says, even if it's at just one point in their lives, "i wish i could sing/dance/draw/playthepiano." when you watch someone do something really really well, the first thought is usually amazement, and that's oftentimes quickly followed by feelings of jealousy and wishing that you could do the same thing. some skills, of course, we don't care about. someone can ambidextrously yo-yo? who cares. someone can make their eyeballs bulge? who cares. someone can kazoo with the best of them? who cares.

but there are a few universal things that everyone would like to do, even if they've already admitted defeat in that particular arena. isn't that why we sing in the shower? because everyone sings, regardless of whether or not they're good. everyone dances, regardless of whether or not they're good. and everyone scribbles on a class notebook, even if all their sketches end up looking like stick figures and deformed manimals.

you think, looking at people who have amazing talent, what it would be like to be that person. to have that skill for just one day. or to have that skill permanently. would you show it off at every opportunity? would it change your life if you could dunk? if you could breakdance? if you could play jaw dropping concertos? amaze at the local karaoke bar? would it change your life? i think it would. your identity is partially wrapped up in what you can do, and if what you can do is take a skateboard off a ramp five hundred and forty degrees, or move your limbs in rhythmic coordination, then you become a different person. not necessarily a better person, but definitely a changed one. people will know you as "that guy who can skateboard like crazy."

and it's comforting to know that most skills can be learned, given enough time and effort. so why don't we put in the effort? because we lack the time? or because we lack the motivation and the drive? or are we just afraid to learn new skills that will make us look particularly silly, since we won't be able to do it "right" for a few years? is it fear of failure, lack of time, or fear of looking stupid that presents us from acquiring certain oft-coveted skills?

as i get older, i find myself lamenting the fact that i'm "too old" to pick up new skills. which is kind of ridiculous since i'm hardly old enough to be lamenting anything. i'm thinking if i start now, i can still be an accomplished singing instrument playing breakdancer by the time i'm forty. so, on with the show.

Saturday, April 2, 2005

pinchers of truffle shuffle power. do you realize that some of the classic movies of our generation have never been fully experienced by "our generation?" how many of you saw top gun in the theatres? okay, a few maybe. i wasn't of pg-13 age so i couldn't go. how about any of the 80s flicks? sixteen candles? anyone see that in the theatres? actually, maybe you did since it was released pre-mpaa era. besides, is there anything in sixteen candles that would have made it pg-13? i doubt it. but i don't know because i've never seen it. but come may seventh, i'll be there, watching it on the big screen.

apparently san diego does have some cool things going on. for example, goonies on the big screen. how many of you actually saw the goonies on the big screen? how many of you have seen the goonies on the big screen in a theatre full of rabid goonie fans? yup, didn't think so. i win.

it wasn't easy let me tell you, watching the goonies on the big screen. there was a confusing time listing, there was making the trek down to buy advance tickets, there was waiting in line with all the other goonie fans, there was the anticipation and fear of something going wrong or a lack of good seats.

i think if ever i wanted to meet new people in san diego -- or you know, date -- that's where i would start: the midnight showing of goonies. not because the line contained so many dateable specimens, but more for the fact that any girl who would be standing in line to watch the goonies on a saturday night would be my type of girl.
q: where were the goonies' beach scenes filmed?
a: cannon beach, oregon
as great as the goonies is however, it's one of those movies that might be better in memory than in actuality. i forgot about some of the lesser moments. sean astin just may have been cast in lord of the rings based on his long history of tear jerker motivational speeches that ring so cheesy you gotta love it -- or head for the exits. i forgot how annoying chunk got about halfway through the movie. i forgot about the (un)intentional sexual innuendoes -- one eyed willie? i wonder if watching the goonies through fresh eyes would be a good or bad experience.

you do have to love corey feldman though, whose character is inexplicably fluent in spanish. you gotta love richard/james "data" wang, you gotta love all the classic lines, you gotta love sloth's twitchy ears. but some parts of the goonies don't quite measure up to a modern viewing. it's like the three amigos, great in memory, not so great as a sit through movie. did i just put the three amigos and the goonies in the same thought balloon? wow, whoops?

more midnight madness films to come: the big lebowski, the fifth element, napoleon dynamite, director's cut of brazil and the aforementioned sixteen candles. i'll be there for the last two, you can count on it.