my brain is fried. i'm not physically depressed, but mentally. i can sit for hours doing nothing but my mind needs to be engaged. or i need access to a pencil at least. sitting there, at my bench, soldering (thank you FOB je-yi) is killing me. i don't know how you work people stand this. the panic is settling in. i can't believe i've only been here a week. i want to go home. now.



i tell myself that this is just the first wall i must crash through. but i start thinking that there must be an easier way. how good do i have to get at damn soldering anyway? i just need to understand it, not become a world-class worker. my pain is miniscule in comparison to the infinite billions of factory workers everywhere. but i'm in pain. i'm super antsy. and i'm only on lunch break. no torture is worse than boredom with no outlet. someone f*&$! shoot me. or break my other leg at least. or maybe an arm or a finger or something.