i miss *this* holding hands. talking at all hours. caring about every little detail. thinking about someone whenever you wander the aisles of a store, wondering if they would like this item or that item. knowing at all times where someone is. being aware of what someone is doing when you're both in the same room, but apart. the inside jokes. the cute moments. the ups and downs. the days being brighter. the nights being shittier because you've been fighting. the constant questions of "how are you guys doing?"



actually. i don't miss any of this. what are the things that make a "relationship?" i don't think i miss any of those things, whatever they might all be. i don't feel more complete with a significant other. i'm not even necessarily happier. sometimes it's actually intensely constraining. and for now, i'm totally lacking in wanting to do any of the things mentioned above. to be that close to one person, to have them lean on you, and to have you lean on them. i'm not sure if i've ever done that, invested my well being in just one person. it's kind of scary. and it makes absolutely no sense to me. but people want this. and i don't get it. not at all.