*sniff*sniff* while we're on the cleanliness and sanitary topic. let me get this out too. stop the public displays of flatulence. please. you know who you are. i will not reveal your identity(s) in a public manner. but you know what's up. say what? say what? say what?



flatulence. it's not fun. it's not funny. it's not sanitary. it's not appealing. it's gross. it's not conducive to conversation. it's not good for the soul. it's not nice. it doesn't make you a better person. it doesn't clear the air of misconceptions. it doesn't clear the air period. call me a prude. call me crazy. call me sensitive. call me whatever you want. but i declare a no farting zone around me. fart on your own damn time. i am not against natural bodily functions and processes. i am against flatulence used as sport. "i can fart louder/faster/more/smellier/crazier than you" games are not sold at toys r us for a reason. i could go on forever about this topic. or on the related "burping as sport" topic. but i won't. i will spare you, if you will spare me. thank you. i am not joking either. the serious tone of my last post still permeates this one. unless you were a skunk in any previous life, keep that back in check. otherwise i will febreze your ass. and then hand sanitize it. try me. i am not a bluffing man on this matter.



back to originally scheduled programming. actually, farting is sometimes very funny. but usually on screen, when you only get audio and video, and the more visceral senses stay unstimulated.