my weekend. as told through prismatic prism of tom hanks movies. to make a "what i did this weekend" blog a little more palatable. or just because i'm bored and have lots of free time.



1. splash - went up to scripps college on friday night to take a peek at mary's senior art show. having never been to a real art exhibition, i was looking for some culture. what i found was free wine, lots of interesting looking people and some very cool art pieces. ranging from multimedia displays to giant sticks of steel wool. i have to say, as much as i can pretend to "appreciate" art, some things i just don't get. reading the little placards on the wall helps, to get an idea of what the artist was thinking, but sometimes it's like "whut?" however, mary's piece was quite extraordinary. for many reasons. and she dressed to match her painting. in a vibrant pink and green sash ensemble.

2. that thing you do - it's true what they say in swingers, all the good bars in hollywood are in the butt fuck of nowhere. hollywood canteen was definitely in the butt fuck of nowhere but it was free, had no dress code, and contained nancy, visiting from new york. a combination lounge, restaurant, bar, hollywood canteen was actually pretty cool. i had a pretty good time dancing away and enjoyed some coronas courtesy of susan and her purse. yes, i'm a loser. i'm poor. i scrounge drinks off females. i'm going to bachelor hell. i know all this.

3. catch me if you can - we had to milk james of all his nfl benefits before he leaves so we got up way too early on saturday to attend the nfl quarterback challenge. we were vip man. that's how we roll. all the time. very important person. that's me. admittedly, not quite important enough to get into the food tent but that's what james' employee pass was for. getting unlimited free food is so damn good. combine that with watching quarterbacks throw gorgeous spirals one after the other and i was pretty content. some of the players were smaller than i anticipated (most of the wide receivers were little, and jeff garcia was tiny). some of them were way bigger (brad johnson has thighs like hams and jerry porter is way too big to be that fast). saw tom brady, who i think graduated from michigan my year so i felt a special kind of kinship and tried to give him a school spirited "go blue." he ignored me. we also saw orlando "the seven up guy" jones and traci "i have huge breasts" bingham. but i didn't know who m(r)s bingham was until we researched it later. i'm a big supporter of higher education as a means towards expanding the mind. i got my stuff autographed by the great warren moon. and by stuff i mean my vip pass. sickos. james was using his height advantage to reach over little boys and girls trying to get autographs. we, his adoring fan base, cheered him on. here's to being taller than your average ten year old. go james! we also were clued in to the "alpha male hand clasp butt slap" thing. i'll show you later. oh behave!

4. joe versus the volcano - a ghetto barbeque is defined thusly. starting at sundown, grilling with an electric grill. running out of power eighty percent into the bbq, at which point we moved to gaga's porch and set up camp there. we didn't have a sausage party (however, the ratio was like a bazillion to four) but we had kalbi. and some noodles. inspired by witnessing pro quarterbacks a few hours earlier, we tried to pretend we could be quarterbacks too. running around on grass is good for the soul. not so good for white sweatshirts. also, a nerdy barbeque is accomplished by pre-numbering plastic cups and having a package of floss at the ready. we are like so crazy man, living on the edge of preventing permanent dental damage. don't try this stuff at home.

5. league of their own - after the bbq, we played manly games of basketball in the backyard. with poor lighting, little water puddles and lots of grunting and sweating. sounds delectable doesn't it? there was a lot of trash talking, as usual. i believe trash talking is pretty much the best part of getting a bunch of guys together (on a tangent, girls should trash talk more, it's edifying). it's fun to scream and holler and make fun of people. especially if you're winning. there was some "hippo," some bump out, some one on one, some two on two. some hacking and wheezing. some plans to play again. btw, do not get in front of babbs when he drives. it's not a game when he drives.

6. big - james pulled out a keyboard and had an impromptu concert with gene and victor. there are really no explanations needed for this one. impromptu concerts are fun. especially if gene is high. or maybe he wasn't high. he was just gene. and apparently, the only song i really know on the piano (heart and soul) is in the "top five most annoying songs ever, as played by asian kids." what does that say about me?

7. the green mile - the celtics win, go up three to one on the pacers. go green.

8. road to perdition - the lakers also win, evening their series and staving off likely elimination. dammit.

9. bonfire of the vanities - watched better luck tomorrow finally. was better and worse than i thought. worth watching though, if only to have experienced slight scrawny asians gracing the big screen. i have so many spoof ideas in my head. if only i could be paid to make spoofs. then i would be rich. if only i could be paid to do nothing. then i would be rich. if only i could be paid.

10. bosom buddies - what happens when guys sit around a table and talk? what do they talk about? yes, you guessed it. technical specifications of cameras and their accessories. oh yes. titillating stuff. but that's how we like our conversations. detail orientated and informative. and oh, there was some talk about relationships and girls too. but all that will dribble in one ear and come out our mouths in a confused fashion. there is a new and improved "stock" system instead of the more generic "points" system. we are not shallow. we are just innovative.

11. apollo thirteen - still living at the pimp pad. the place where dreams come to die. the nexus of fun. where winners hang out on saturday (and friday and every other day) nites. i'm hoping to go home soon although i've enjoyed my stay at the home of the edible soy dog.

12. forrest gump - "life is like a box of chocolates." things come out of the blue that you never expect. which is kind of cool. friends who like friends you never woulda imagined. mulling over how two groups of friends becomes one. a little two block stroll in the afternoon sun. a friend surprising you with an "i'm getting married" announcement. text messages at three in the morning....

13. toy story - ....getting blt buttons from ces. which has inspired us to purchase a button machine. which means that we will be making cool buttons soon. yeah, i know, jealousy rages. get over it.

14. the money pit - and yes, i'm still broke. but thanks to my many creditors, i am still living. don't worry, i get paid on wednesday, and i intend to pay every penny back. so feel free to lend me money at any time. although i don't want to be that guy. that guy who always has to ask for money and so will soon be castaway from all his friends. who no longer like him because he is perpetually broke. doesn't sound like anyone we know does it?

15. you've got mail - and congratulations to all those michigan graduates of the year 2003. i remember when they were all little freshman and i was a little senior. look at them now. i have cards for you guys. but they aren't mailed or written in yet. so um. yeah. i too am a graduate of 2003 (hopefully), maybe we can look for jobs together. wow, will i soon officially become an alum? maybe then t brady will give me some love.



tom hanks was on tv everywhere we turned this weekend. so thus, tom hanks' movies were used. i'm still bored. how you doing?