go to college, a university, get a real job

that's what they said to me

but I could never live the way they want

i'm gonna get by and just do my time

out of step while they all get in line

i'm just a minor threat, so pay no mind

-good charlotte, the anthem-



so now that i am released into the real world, what to do? after some discussion with another recently freed compatriot, we decided that part of the problem is the lack of role models or mentors in our lives. actually, it wasn't so much a problem, as much as it was something to bullshit about while waiting hungrily for our chinese food.



the issue at hand is that we are all surrounded by our peers, or at least i am. there are very few people in my life who are significantly older and thus potentially "wiser." parents don't count. in fact, we think that as a result of having been raised in chinese homes, we ironically push aside our parents' advice as "nagging." we tend to dismiss elders and adults as meddling fools (we didn't actually use the term "meddling fools"). because of the constant barrage of things that chinese parents throw at you, we are conditioned to reach out to our peers and to scrutinize every potential authority figure. at least that's the way it is for me. i know it's not purely a cultural thing, but maybe it contributes to it.



anyhow. i have no one in my life who can serve as a mentor. when you are trying to escape from the beaten track, there aren't a whole lot of precedents for getting from point Y to point Z. you need to find people who have contacts, who have experience, who can help you, guide you. these people also have to be worthy of your respect. peers are great and all but there is a limiting factor that comes with hanging out with all peers. peers cannot adequately judge you (except in a jury). they fly alongside you and are undergoing their own issues and struggles and it is hard for them to lend extra perspective when their perspective is the same as yours.



a mentor however has been through the battles, has "seen it all." they are able to provide inspiration and insight. every student needs a teacher and without that teacher, our growth process is much slower. that is the way it is for any field of endeavour. want to start taking pictures? find someone to teach you. want to learn how to play basketball? find someone to teach you. want to find a job that doesn't involve a nine to five? find someone to free you.



this is by no means lamenting or crapping about the fact that i have no mentor. but it is an opening of my mind to the possibility that older people do have something to offer. college professors are brilliant people, yet i've never thought to engage one in conversation. i think there have been possible mentor folks around me but by not being open to the possibilty, i've never approached them in any manner. another friend pointed out that it wasn't that the world was lacking mentors, but rather that i lacked the vision or aptitude to engage the attention of a mentor type. after all, mentors don't come knocking on your door, you go knocking on theirs.