your own worst enemy. there's bad breath and then there's bad breath. take kimchee breath for example. that's pretty funking bad. top five worst breaths? in no particular order. kimchee, onion (greek/mexican food), garlic, smoking, morning. no gum can combat some of these breaths. it's just too powerful. drag-on indeed. and that taste that just comes back to you hour after hour? like some vengeful volcano? man. they need to invent stronger gum.



tangent: i'm never sure whether or not to put the "g" onto words like "funking", since i don't want to seem like i'm trying to be funkin' but then again, funking looks wrong. this is quite a problem since many words have this ' or g problem. usually i just go with the g to you know, keep it real. but sometimes the ' is so much more fitting. see, right there, i could of used a '. but i didn't. self restraint. it's a blessing.



there comes to be a certain point, when our conception of the world has been proved sufficiently wrong that you have to question if it is truly "me and not you." as in, maybe it is you who are wrong, and not them. i think the late teens and the early twenties should be used for figuring out how things work. but once you have an intial hypothesis, the testing phase can vary. for me, i'm still undergoing the testing phase, the practicality phase. how much do these things that i think apply? so far the results are mixed. but imbued with youthful arrogance i feel like i am right. every single time. but at a certain point, there starts to be a creeping feeling.



it starts on the edges of your perception, as all creepy things do -- otherwise they wouldn't be creeping now would they? anyway. a few small instances show you that maybe your world isn't the right world. but you dismiss the nagging feeling. slowly but inevitably, you start to see that "hey, this is not working out, something must be wrong." at this stage you can either re-examine your hypothesis and adjust accordingly or push on. i have decided to push on in hopes that my gestation period is just a big longer than most. but i've decided that by a certain age, you have to admit to the idea that "hey, i might be the one that's wrong." i'm going to arbitrarily set this age at thirty. since thirty is the age when athletes and women and many famous people are deemed too "old." they no longer have the cachet of youth and the promise of potential. so i figure by setting the "you are wrong" age at thirty, it will contribute along with the normal thirtysomething stuff to induce an early mid-life crisis. just get that crap over with to rush toward sudden inexplicable death at sixty i say.



people really need to face the idea that "hey, it's me, not you." this would make it all a much better place. self analysis and introspection is really not about figuring yourself out. but rather figuring yourself out honestly. which can be very tough to do. we never want to be the ones at fault, we're trained to skirt responsibility. or i was anyway. i mean, there's a reason i'm the world record holder in the 1000-meter responsibility ducking. actually most people face up to the music. i just don't.



do you ever wonder if you are one of those people that everyone says "someone should just tell him this or that or this, since he has no clue about it. or seemingly no clue." that would be horrible wouldn't it? to be living on your own little planet and not knowing that you were perceived totally differently than how you perceived yourself? how much does that "aha" moment come as a shock? or as a hurt?