adventures in newlywedding. reporting in from the frontlines of yet another wedding. this makes, i think, eight in the span of one calender year. i'm too young to be going to so many weddings. but that's what everybody says. this wedding was for another family friend, the usual assortment of chinese aunts and uncles attended, with a few young kids, namely us and the bridal party. i'm not sure why anyone would want to have their wedding guests to be culled from the list of parental friends but it's a social pecking order thing i guess. i would want my wedding to be filled with friends and relatives, not necessarily friends of my mom. but that's how these things work.



if you've been to any family friend adult gatherings i'm sure you've heard the "wow, you're so big now!" the girls get the "how pretty you've become" line. slightly older yet still young adult people you knew from way back when comment on how "you used to be this tall." imagine in your mind the placement of hands right around the three foot mark. it's glorious.



even though you've known all these uncles and aunties for so long, you don't really recall their last names or even their first names, since you are trained to just say "aiyi, hsuhsu" everytime you see them. when you are responsible for checking them in -- as we were -- you have to ask them for their last names and then you are shocked to discover that they have english names like tom and patty and bob.



the funnest part of these weddings is watching the adults dance, since any dance move done by anyone over the age of fifty is immediately "cute." they may be the most terrible dancers in the world but once a fifty year old shakes their booty everyone laughs and says "haha, so funny!" and then at our family friends' weddings there is always this one couple who likes to show everybody up by busting out their classically trained ballroom moves. i can see the other couples wishing that they could dance like that. at this particular wedding the couple started dancing before the food was served and even before the newlyweds hit the dance floor. i thought that was kind of wrong.



i think snide comments at weddings should be outlawed since it's such a joyous occassion but sometimes people's outfits just need to be commented upon. how about the girl wearing the short short salsa dress with her cleavage line down to her ribcage? that was a nice wedding outfit. the bride changed into a green queen amidala-like dress at one point. fashion forward i must say, if a bit strange. the groom was radiant in his white tux, and his new bofo super fob hairdo. something about white on white just screams "superstar." i would never want to wear a screaming outfit at my wedding though. i mean, isn't it enough to be screaming inside as you say "i do?"



and can we talk about the boringness that is ten random people sitting at a table? with the foreknowledge that you'll likely never ever see these people again? superficial talk abounds. food gets stuffed into mouth rather quickly. on top of this, i was seated between a guy and a girl who were trying to flirt with each other. so pretty much i was flirted across over and through. which is not an experience i'm unaccustomed to, i do go clubbing with hong and babbs after all, but it's still a bit uncomfortable. the food was excellent though, which is always cause for eternal celebration.



something about weddings strike me as so unglamorous. weddings are usually one of those events that are much prettier in pictures. much like celebrities. once you are actually at the wedding, it's hard to ignore the wind, the chill, the dead times, the groom running around trying to make everything go according to plan (where was j-lo when you needed her?). it just seems like another day in the life of. maybe this is because i'm not the one getting married but weddings tend to come off as more of a nice event as opposed to an EVENT. i guess the wedding scenes in movies have corrupted me. i expect blazing trumpets, throngs of admirers, a few elephants and lots of confetti. but our confetti was blown away by the wind and never really made it onto the happy couple. sad but true. and that rush into the waiting limo? very choreographed and staged. not spontaneous at all.



i equate going to a wedding like being on the set of a movie. it takes away from the whole glamour of the entire experience. the movie may turn out beautiful and the pictures from a wedding may be unforgettable but the experience itself is usually somewhat underwhelming.



i still await my first wedding where everybody gets trashed and people are bouncing off the walls in craziness. actually, the agustin wedding was kind of like that but i knew it was going to be spectacular fun since eric and anna are fun people. so does this mean that boring newlyweds correspond directly to boring weddings? i hope not. otherwise i may have alot more boring weddings in my future.



just kidding. more champagne please...



oh one more thing, i might have mentioned this before. the clinking on glasses trying to make them kiss thing? some traditions need to die. seriously.