ryde or die. what up dawg? what up homie? that's my boy! hang on, let me call my peeps. something's wrong with all of the previous statements. i'll let you figure it out. actually, i'd rather just tell you. i object to the use of terms like homie, dawg, dog, boy, troupe, posse, cadre, crew, clique and especially, peeps. i ain't your peep. we ain't a circus troupe and you are hardly important enough to have a posse. why do i object to it when people use these words? because it never sounds right. it just doesn't. we didn't grow up with dogs, dawgs, peeps, crews or homies. it sounds like a damn pet shelter. we grew up in nice suburban places where we had peers and voting blocs.



so really is what i'm objecting to the suburban middle class use of these terms in definition of one's chosen friends and interwoven social circles? yes. that is precisely what i am objecting to.



i personally might use "my people" or "my constituents" but really only in jest. "let me poll my people and i'll get back to you." but this is used in jest and if you don't get it, well, too bad. but when people are seriously using things like, "yo, let me ask my def peeping doggy squad what we're doing tonight..." that's a no no. am i making assumptions based on the way you look and the minimal parts of your history that i can surmise? yes, probably. is that bad? yes, probably. but what did you want? unconditional love? look in aisle three next to the butter. i just think that there is no need to resort to using the slang of the day to describe your friends. what's wrong with just saying "my friends?" "he is very near and dear to my heart." okay, "dawg" may sound better (and cooler?), but it's just tacky.



i've sometimes resorted to agreeing that so-and-so is "my boy." just to make it easier. "are those your boys?" i might reply "yes they are" if i don't feel like getting into it. something about "boys" just bothers me. also, in the interest of staying equal, i'm not a big fan of "my girl" either. "daisy? that's my girl!" people have a tendency to say it with a little too much oomph for me. rolling it to sound most like "grrrl." it just kinda bothers me. just a little. i won't hate you if you do it but i will notice. and noticing is one fifth the battle.



having said all this, i do grant some exceptions. i like it when ryan aka hoodlum calls me "homie." because from him it sounds so right and it's a greeting as opposed to a classification. actually it's kinda both, but he's exceptional so thus granted an exception. and gene can call whomever he wants "dog." especially if he punctuates it with a smile and an arm swing motion -- as he is wont to do. the rest of you, nothing.



and oh. please don't use any racial slurs in greetings or in group classifications. nobody is anybody's n*gga. especially if you are one and a half generation chinese/taiwanese/korean. i don't care how much you listen to hip hop. actually i don't think any color should be using the n-word but that's a different story. let's all just get along and call each other by our proper names. great.

you gon' be here for a while, i'm gon' go call my crew. you go call your crew. we can rendezvous at the bar around two.