passing me by. in a ucsd class that i took, we read a book called quicksand. the protagonist, helga crane, struggles with her racial identity and moves back and forth from the "black" world to the "white" world and never quite fits in. the term "passing" was introduced to me in this book and in this class. helga was racially mixed (white/black) and could pass for white due to the lightness of her skin. during this class we read many books that had passing as a central theme and many examples were shown us of writers, artists, people, who used their lighter hue to gain passage into the white world. quicksand, set in the 1920s and a semi-autobiographical version of nella larsen's experiences, was a revelation to me.



in the process of re-reading la confidential, i noticed that a periphery character was mentioned as "passing" and it made me think about the whole passing thing again. what an america we live in. what a world we live in. are the people who choose to pass not proud of their heritage? are they using their lighter hue to bypass the very real barriers that confront them due to their racial and/or ethnic makeup? i know of a girl who likes to pass for korean because of a certain status (arguably) that it provides. even say, being atheist and fronting like a christian at church can be similar to passing. i heard recently of a white man who, in order to appease his soon-to-be bride's asian parents, chose to surgically slant and diminish his eyes for that so in vogue "chinky" look. it didn't work but the parents were impressed by his dedication and so permitted them to marry. what the hell.



i read in da capo best music writing 2002 about a musican (i regret that his exact name escapes me right now) who put on a turban and pushed his "mystic" indian background in order to build a career. he was quite successful too; even got his own tv variety show. it turns out that this musician was not indian at all but black. he never told anybody, including his wife and children. this was "success." but it's hard to place blame on somebody using what they can to advance themselves in the world.



passing even works in reverse. in chasing amy, hooper, a comic book author, has to role-play a militant black man in order to move units. in reality, he is a black gay man who harbors no comparable militant views. when caught by an autograph seeking black kid as he's seen hanging out with ben affleck, hooper lies quickly and exonerates himself by saying "see that (white) man over there? he the devil! never take your eye off the man." is hooper trying to pass as militant black? i'd say so.



don't we all pass though? i attempt to pass as a responsible white collar worker each and every day i sit here at my desk. i take off my earrings, jewelry and cover up my tattoos in order to not offend the presumably strict office culture code. one might even say that the use of language is a common method of passing. i speak differently at work -- the hilarious "work voice" -- than i do at home. i use complete sentences and try to cut out the "dudes" and "cools" in order to come off as "professional." somebody might try to use certain words or ways of speaking to be included in a cultural niche. pass as "hip hop" or "californian" for example. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, depends on how good and natural you are at it i suppose.



but back to passing as a way of racial integration. another book from that ucsd class had a light skinned black man so effective at passing that he becomes the leader of a white supremacist group. now that's a huge assist. he worries that he will be exposed when he has children because what if his white wife gives birth to an obvious mulatto? how "tragic." i think in some ways, we in america (and maybe other places) are raised to listen to the message that "white is right." i mean, even michael jackson supports it. the ethnic models and celebrities who make it are generally lighter skinned or have "white" features. some of us are told to marry white because kids with paler skin wiill lead a better life. this ain't just scrimp and bullshit, people i've talked to actually hear this from their parents. entire racial groups sometimes culturally value lighter skin as more beautiful, desirable, successful or of a higher social standing. it's not only true, but obvious, the push for white versus dark.



i'm trying to gain some insight into the mindset that comes with the pressures of wanting to pass. what if by lying about your racial background you had access to a better neighborhood and better schools (a huge generalization, so excuse me). what if by marking "caucasian" on your census form you could get more tax deductions (fictional as far as i know, so excuse me). what if by fitting in you avoided being booted out, or even worse, beat up? would you pass? would you collect two hundred dollars?