ouch. it's official, i am the last man on earth. an online quiz told me so. "sorry, but most women would rather see the human species wither to an end -- and therefore deny the most fundamental instinct that living creatures have -- than sleep with you." this description is not altogether shocking but it is surprising that an online test can determine figure me out so well. i mean, i would of thought that only friends and exes could call this type of stuff out. some of the names for the types at okcupid are straight up hilarious. hornivore? ghenghis khunt? the false messiah? billy goat? who got to name these things? i want that job.



i'm making everyone take the test just to hear the funny results. so if you're bored you might as well do it too. i feel like i've missed the boat on this okcupid thing since most people have already taken it. but if you drop me your results i will do my best to match you up with the type that is recommended for you. and if you object to your results, i would like to know why. most people i know have agreed with their types, which means this okcupid thing must be incredibly true. which means if it comes down to only me and meteors and an abundance of promiscuous women, the human race would have no chance. heck, forget the meteors, if it was only me and promiscuous women, the human race would still be lost. let us pray.



"we've learned the following: you don't think things through. you're haphazard. you're dangerous. you're somewhat inexperienced. to top things off, when you do find your way into a relationship, you tend to be a dick somewhere down the line and fuck it all up."



i would sue for personality plagiarism if i wasn't so darn impressed by its accuracy. libel libel! who the hell is behind this website? nostradamus?