(f)hug me! (f)hug you! some people are not touchy people. i, for one, need some personal space. people lean in, i lean out. people get too close, i look for nearby open windows. close talkers intimidate me, but that's a different story. this story is about huggy versus non-huggy people. i have not met a whole lot of non-huggy people in my life but when i did/do, it was a "wow, weird." now, i am not talking about the quality of hugs, since that is a very personal preference. but rather, which people are open to hugs and which are not.



for me, hugging is a pretty routine natural part of a greeting or goodbye. see a friend, hug. say bye to a friend, hug. it gets a bit ridiculous sometimes, especially with the michigan people, when you realize that you have given them three welcome/good bye hugs in the span of six hours. but hey, excessive hugging never hurt anybody. after an evening of hanging out, hugs all around as you say your good nights. even to people you just met. i know, this weirds some people out, since they seem to say "well, i don't know them, do i hug or not?" most times, it's a group thing, if everyone is hugging good byes you might have no choice but to engage in it. the horror. call it peer pressure hugging.



but there are some people who just give off the "touch me and we go to defcon one" vibe. the very first time i can recall this happening was with these two girls we'd just started hanging out with. as we stood in the parking lot of a diner getting ready to leave --everybody standing in a nice neat row like good little children -- they gave off the "don't hug me" vibe. so i didn't. and to this day, the precedent has been set, i pause before hugging them, or don't hug them at all. this has happened with a few other friends too. i've even had one friend write me stating that "i think it's time, we can hug now." with her, i know physicality is an issue so i always made it a point just to say a verbal good bye and wave politely. but apparently now we can hug.



some people are big huggers. they hug everybody. i wonder if anybody is ever violated by that. big huggers. are they just so brave that they barge on despite the no hugging barrier? or are they just not aware of it? i'll have to ask a local big hugger to find out. who is the biggest hugger you know?



note that this problem also applies to guy on guy good byes. while most guys don't hug goodbye, there is some thought that must go into "should i slap hands goodbye or give him the hand clasp, half hug thing." this is just as difficult a decision as the hugging one. i guess the hand clasp, half hug thing is a gesture of warmness. after all, i wouldn't do that with just any random guy. the half and half is reserved only for people who are your friends. is this the way hugs are too? or are hugs more universal? i must know.



with certain people, who are only one degree separated away from being strangers, a hug is almost required. yesterday for example, we saw our friend and his girlfriend. he got the half and half, she got a hug. automatic. we've met her a few times, we couldn't even really remember her name, i've personally maybe said three sentences to her in my life, but a hug was in order. maybe because we knew her boyfriend? or because we hugged her last time? how you exit last time is how you greet them the next time? is there a rule i'm missing out on? i don't know. but i felt more comfortable saying a hug hi and goodbye with her than with some of my other friends i've known for years. weird how it all works eh?



go hug someone today and tell me how it works out.