time passes by as usual and... the setting: dimly lit restaurant, mood music in full swing, pasta hanging off a fork, goo goo eyes met with goo goo eyes.



"so, do you believe in evolution?"

"well, i thought you were going to say something else..."

"i will but answer this one question first, it's very important."

"ok, um, yes, i DO believe in evolution." *batting of eyes, licking of lips*

*slams down fork* "it's over baby, sorry. i'm a strict creationist, this will never work."

no wait wait, i think intelligent design is a possibility!?"



cut scene. is this how seriously you take the debate on evolution versus creationism? this is how serious it is isn't it? how we came to be can be a huge signifier of your belief system and eventual compatability with friends, family, and foes. we've all heard about the debates that rage non-stop about where we came from right? aliens. big bang. amoeba. god. a clockmaker. who was it? this fundamental question is being researched by the brightest of minds and the most dedicated of scientists.



evolution is so interesting. isn't it cool to look at a monkey and think "heehee, we used to be one of those, then we evolved!" or to look at an amphibian and say, "ew, gross, i'm so glad they evolved into cute land animals like dogs and cats so that i can own one in my home." everybody learns about kingdom, phylum, class, order, genus and species in biology and we're made to think that the whole world is nice and orderly. taxonomy explains everything!



creationism is also appealing in its own way. look at the world, isn't it amazingly complex? how could random bursts of natural selection create all of this? that's impossible. mathematically speaking it would take the smallest of infinite chances to create life on earth. i can't wrap my mind around it, there must be a creator because everything works together so damn well. and what about those gaps in the evolutionary chain? those are surefire signs that creationism is right and evolution is wrong.



and then the theory that combines them both: intelligent design. this is popular because it uses one of christina's "universal answers to all questions". answer number two specifically states: it's a combination of both. when in doubt about a question with two sides, use the "it's both" answer to come off as thought provoked and even-handed. works every time. "is it your fault or my fault? it's both." "do you think it's men or women who are responsible for sexism? it's both." see how that works? anyway, intelligent design seems to be the land bridge that connects creationism and evolution.



so now i ask, how much does this all matter? for me personally, i love evolution. love it. biological anthropology was the greatest class. me and greg used to sit around talking about it even though we didn't take it together. with titles like "the last ape" and "the first man", this class was riveting. but i asked greg once, "wait, you don't believe in natural selection or evolution (due to religious reasons), how can you be so into it?" the answer that i received was that evolution was a cool mechanism to think about and explore but that creationism was still his belief. which makes sense.



in contact the book, a particular scientist is asked (paraphrased) "how do you have belief in god and science at the same time?" the answer that was provided was approximately, "the further i explore and understand science, the more i believe in god." which i took to mean the more we find out about the complexity of the world, the more beautifully designed it seems. brilliant.



so i'm stuck. i would like to believe in evolution because i don't believe in creationism. maybe a bias since to me, creationism implies higher powers which implies the distinct possibility of god or some god-like creature. but evolution has it's flaws. how does natural selection explain the very beginnings of everything? you can't naturally select from nothing. so i'm a bit confused. and i don't know enough to decide either way and i don't want to say "it's both." so i will continue to wander the halls of natural history museums and drink in all that they show me about bird's wings and panda's thumbs and go "amazing isn't it? this evolution thing?"



alternately, i could be convinced of any theory under the sun by the appearance of powerful space aliens during my lifetime, at which point i'll spout whatever they want me to spout. but if the powerful space alien turns out to be a religious diety that already exists i may have to question their marketing plan. i would have trademarked and stamped each organism that i created, if only to have creative ownership of my work. this may explain the existence of butt dimples.