patently, joyfully normal, lisa was the embodiment of everything i found depressing. nothing set her apart from the thousands of other girls i saw each day, but this fact did not disturb her in the least. in her desire to be typical, my sister had succeeded with flying, muted colors. unlike me, she would never entertain deep thoughts or travel to distant lands in the company of a long-nosed proboscis monkey. none of them would. along with everyone else, she had traded her soul in exchange for a stocking stuffer and now would have to suffer the consequences.

-david sedaris, naked-