he's so cool sheep count him. some people are shy. i used to be shy i think, as most small asian children are -- especially those with an imperfect command of english and cultural barriers to overcome. i might have some remnants of shy left but i think i've outgrown that classification. i tend to think of my current shyness as more quiet than actual shy. over the years, i've met a disproportionate amount of non-shy people. so somewhere along the way i got really used to everyone being outgoing and extroverted. people who just talked and talked and wanted to get to know you right off the bat. lots of smiles and eye contact and loud conversations.



then, a few years ago, i started to feel a distinct shy population edge into my world. at first this was strange. does this person not like me? why are they so quiet? are they bored?



it was then that i realized hey, shy is a lifelong trait, not something to be outgrown or shed. shy people just open up slower. they aren't reserved or standoffish, they are just shy! some people are more comfortable around strangers than others. but behind every shy person is a loud person waiting to explode. that's been my experience too. not many shy people still remain shy when you get close to them. there's also something to talking to shy people and realizing that hey, they are talking to you! for more than two seconds! it's like a great battle (or a small civil war) has been fought and won. they are talking to me! i feel special!



six reasons to like shy people: (1) they are unobtrusive (2) they aren't generally annoying (3) if festooned with the proper outfit, they make good complements to your furniture (4) they are easy to leave behind (5) they seem mysteriously observant and intelligent (6) they make the best mafia killers, if not the most entertaining players. i'm just joking about numbers three and four, kind of.



some people, like me, aren't overly outgoing but they aren't shy either. they don't take over a room but neither are they hesitant to join in. this begs the question, are they (am i) more shy or outgoing? i think there needs to be a term for this type of person, since it's so common a description. a term for the type of person who is willing to engage in other people if approached but not really seeking conversation if it's not right in front of them. what do you call these people?



and isn't it surprising when you hang out with a friend, an unexposed shy person who you've never perceived as shy because the two of you met under non-shy circumstances, and then you go out or introduce them to your people and you realize exactly how shy they are? so this person who previously talked a mile a minute with flamboyant hand gestures suddenly clams up and becomes stunningly shy? totally makes you see a new side of them. love it.