here's looking at you kid. it's occurred to me, every so often, that maybe i could be a psychologist. sit around all day, have people tell me about their problems, give my advice and prescribe some medicine (actually only a psychiatrist can do this). bill them for ungodly sums. i mean, isn't this what i do anyway? except for the prescribing of medicine and the ungodly sums parts. but really, if i had to create a list of skills that might lead to a future career or occupation, i think "listening" would be high on that list.



i am a pretty good listener. worthy of professional status even. i'm nearly world class at pretending to listen. it seems perfect doesn't it, for me to become a psychologist? except for a few things. first, becoming a psychologist requires a few years of medical school (fallacy correction: no, psychologists don't have to go to med school). um, no. second, becoming a psychologist would mean having to sit there and listen to people's problems all day. no matter how ridiculous the problem or how trivial, i would have to keep a straight face and force myself to care.



let me state now that i think psychologists and therapists are great. i think everyone should have one. an objective person to talk to about everything. someone who will listen and analyze with you, without actually being in your life. too many times we are restrained from pouring out our hearts and minds, even with our most trusted friends. remove the barriers created by a personal relationship and everyone could expunge that much easier. as far as i'm concerned, if psychologists didn't cost so much, every person should get one. the world would be a much better place. and people would be happier and healtheir. trust me.



i'm also kind of a big believer that as people, our form follows our function. or rather, our neuroses are shaped by our experiences. so if you have someone who can indicate which neuroses emerged from which experiences, we would again, be that much better off. don't you want to know precisely why you are the wack job that you are? exactly. we are not just a conglomeration of random traits and disorders, there are linear, logical reasons behind our psychoses.



having said all that, the main thing keeping me away from a career in psychology would be the inability to restrain myself from going "dude, shut up already, suck it up. stop complaining!" i have a high amount of patience and tolerance but at some point, we all gotta blow. and i'm afraid that with certain people, i would just be forced to tell them "look buddy, you have super issues and if you don't stop complaining about them and start dealing with them, i can't help you. i'm really sorry your hamster drowned in the toilet and that it's not actually like butter. but get over it. " i'm thinking that the one hundred dollars an hour would increase my patience a little but a hundred dollars only goes so far.



so thus, another career choice down the drain. i must return to my all important typing and faxing now. happy friday.