schadenfreude. what do you do when you show someone something -- something that is special to you -- and they spit on it? say, a favorite poem, passage, painting or um, movie? you hype it up, confidently driving up expectations, assuring them that they'll love it. then as you unwrap your faberge egg, you watch their faces expectantly, searching desperately for any sign of enjoyment or fulfilled promise. and you slowly realize that you will get nothing from reading their poker face, only a blank emotionless stare. at the end of the movie, you think you know what they think but you ask anyway. "so, what did you think of the movie?" they respond with comments like "i thought the concept was poor, the respect i had for so and so really dropped, i really thought kangaroo jack was a superior film."



what do you feel then? a sense of betrayal? anger? a part of you dying? are you reluctant to share ever again? do you suddenly feel like an island? despite all your best efforts to build a land bridge? all of the above i'd say. this is why favorites are really "personal" favorites. you can't expect other people to love what you love. they didn't have the same experience, the same background, the same mentality heading into it. you can only hope that what you connected with can be reflected somewhat in their experience. because you don't really want to throw out the friend with the bath water if you can help it. but if things don't work out, you must bravely soldier on. climb your own mountain and ride your own melt. because there's no point to any of this. it's all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes.



on the flip side, when somebody names a favorite of theirs that is an obscure favorite of yours, isn't that cause for celebration? you grew up thinking for years that only you knew about this gem of a song and then suddenly you discover that you were not alone. somebody else listens to the magic that is "return to pooh corner." how can this be? is fate really this generous? did kenny loggins tour the world when i wasn't looking?



doesn't this type of feeling restore your faith in (wo)man-kind? doesn't it make you feel like you have an intimate connection with the aforementioned person? doesn't similar taste in one superior thing signify that possibly their tastes are similar to yours in all respects? oh happy day. zip a dee doo dah, zip a dee ay. should we immediately elevate this lovely person to true friend status? most certainly i'd say.



my rationale behind this is simply that even with an overall-y bad man like hitler, if he had great taste in things like i do, there must be some redeeming qualities in him right? and so, if i could HAVE befriended hitler i can certainly give you a chance. i mean, if someone can appreciate the same things you(i) do, they must be somewhat like (me)you, and thus worthy of respect and admiration right? my logic and worldviews are clearly worthy of enshrinement.



oh but what happens if -- totally and i mean totally -- hypothetical "situation a" and "situation b" occur with the same person, on the same day, in the span of the same encounter? are you left in friendship limbo? at an equilibrium between hate and love? on one hand you have this thing that you deeply connect on -- kenny loggins -- but then on the other, they rejected something that is close to your heart -- xmen 2. what do you do? can you really go with one feeling over the other? should you even try? i feel torn and shattered. like a man who has lost his head. help me. help you. then help me some more. simply, help.