oh, ricky, you're so fine. you're so fine you blow my mind. ricky williams, one of the most talented running backs in the league has retired at the age of twenty seven -- after two record setting years with the miami dolphins. like barry sanders, ricky leaves in his prime and kills his team's chances of becoming a winning football team. more importantly, ricky williams' retirement has killed my chances of winning a fantasy football championship.



let me tell you, it hurts. my roster is stocked with has-beens and nobodies. two years ago i was the champion, now i'm on the floor (literally) looking up. somewhere a higher power is laughing at me, giggling at me and stomping over my life. i was so excited to draft this year, now i'm crushed. you could've told me a girl thought i physically most resembled a hairless babboon and i wouldn't have cared half this much. i mean, girls diss me all the time, i'm used to it. but losing my franchise player in a keeper league? oh the tears and the heartache.



professional athletes retiring in their prime is becoming en vogue these days. jim brown the great did it, the aforementioned barry sanders did it, many football players have done it. usually running backs for some reason. robert smith left after a career season in 2000 and has never looked back. michael jordan did it in basketball, sort of. it's something kind of to be respected; to leave at your very best, knowing that you don't want to suffer through the indignity of a torturous career slide. there's something to be said about a man who can step away from the game that he's played since he was a kid. there's something to be said about a man who can walk away from millions of dollars just because his heart isn't in it anymore, or if the game no longer provides him any challenges. there's something to be said for these people: stupid stupid stupid.



do you know how many of us would die to play professional sports? but we aren't all athletically blessed so fantasy is our chance. why ruin it for us by cutting short your careers? why ruin it for me? do you know how little i have to look forward to every day? do you know what it's like to be dominated on the field of reality, but yet go home smiling because you know you coulda whooped that man on nintendo or via mathematics? do you know what i'm talking about barry sanders? do you know what i'm talking michael jordan? do you know what i'm talking ricky williams? you feeling me? obviously not. have fun traveling in asia ricky. i hope you catch SARS.



if ricky decides to un-retire, i take all this back and will make banners that read "run ricky run!"