Hey. I don't think I need you anymore. I'm ready to move on. These talks. Are getting less frequent. And harder to maintain. I'm looking to buy you out. Sell you to the highest bidder. Combine like Voltron. Anything of the sort.

posted by The Wizard



You want to merge me with someone? Merge us?!? Like some big media conglomerate, complete with hyphens and weird logos? What if I refuse?

posted by Tin Man



It's not really your decision. I'm ready not to have you anymore. As a separate person. You're too standoff-ish. And really, what have you done for me?

posted by The Wizard



I'm the rock you've leaned on for so long. Without me, your sanity and emotional well being is at risk. Doesn't that count for something?

posted by Tin Man



Fuck that. I'm bored. I need motion. I need change. I need searchings in other directions. I'm willing to let the light shine through a little bit more. Or at least try to do all that. I'm ready to move on. All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go. I'm standing here outside your door.....

posted by The Wizard



I think you'll regret this decision.

posted by Tin Man



I never regret a thing.

posted by The Wizard



It must be fun to live in a fantasy world. But best of luck to you. You'll be back I'm sure. In re-runs or special engagements. Bye Dorothy.

posted by Tin Man



Bye Pooh.

through the fields

which disappear

soon after they appear



because nature has a way

of changing

the same way

it remains

-saul williams-

How would you feel if I had to tell you something about yourself. Something that nobody else would bother to tell you. Something that would most likely hurt, and may make you mad at me? And possibly hurt our friendship?

posted by Tin Man



I think you should do it. I mean, we're friends right? Isn't that what good friends do? Tell each other the things that nobody else will? If you don't do it, who will?

posted by The Wizard



So you won't mind if I pull no punches? And just come straight out, with no tact, and tell you all the terrible things I've noticed about you?

posted by Tin Man



Not at all. In fact, I welcome it. Don't sugar coat anything. I have thick skin, I can take it. As long as it's done constructively, criticism is good. I mean, I'm sure you're not attacking me for personal satisfaction, so I know what you're going to say is only because you want me to be a better person. So I'll even thank you beforehand. "Thank you."

posted by The Wizard



Ok. Here goes.......ah fuck. Can't do it. It'll hurt too much. Maybe I'll just talk to you about it. I can't do it here like this. Online and anonymously. I need to skewer you in person. So I can see if you're really hurt or not.

posted by Tin Man



Spit it out man. I'm anxious.

posted by The Wizard



Forget it. I'll tell you later.

posted by Tin Man



Fine. Be that way. I'll just assume I'm perfect then. Until you prove otherwise.

posted by The Wizard



Isn't that what you do anyways?

"Cinderella lied to us. There should be a Betty Ford Center where they de-program you by putting you in an electric chair, play 'Some Day My Prince Will Come,' and hit you and go 'Nobody's coming...Nobody's coming...Nobody's coming.'"

-judy carter-

A friend's definition of what a smart person is: smart is getting what you want. Knowing how to use your resources to achieve your goal. If this is the definition, am I smart?

posted by The Wizard



Hum. Well. Do you get what you want? Or does what you want only come about because you've lowered your goals and expectations? I think sometimes you're a bit too lucky and happy to be content with what's in your life. Maybe more lucky actually.

posted by Tin Man



I usually get what I want. But not really because I do anything. I don't put effort into many things. Stuff just happens and "works out." I'm on the high end of the cosmic karma circle. Everything comes up roses for me. Even in the darkest of moments. So I don't really know if I'm "getting what I want."

posted by The Wizard



This is a great definition by the way. Because all the intelligence, self control, stability and whatever else, doesn't do jack for you unless you know how to apply it to achieve something. That's a smart person. A happy person. An accomplished person. Don't you think?

posted by Tin Man



I agree. So again, am I smart?

posted by The Wizard



Crap. How should I know? Let's go with "no" so you have some room for improvement.

"A man's moral character must be judged on the basis of his actions, his statements, and his conscious convictions-- not on the basis of inferences (usually spurious) about his subconscious."

What happens to a dream deferred?



Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?



Or fester like a sore--

and then run?



Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over--

like a syrupy sweet?



Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.



Or does it explode?

-langston hughes-

"To love man for God's sake--that has been the noblest and most remote feeling attained among men. That the love of man is just one more stupidity and brutishness if there is no ulterior intent to sanctify it; that the inclination to such love of man must receive its measure, its grain of salt and dash of ambergris from some higher inclination--whoever the human being may have been who first felt and 'experienced' this, however much his tongue may have stumbled as it tried to express such delicatesse, let him remain holy and venerable for us for all time as the human being who has flown highest yet and gone astray most beautifully!"

-friedrich nietzsche, beyond good and evil, section 60-

Discovering the Land of Oz: An American Narrative

If there is one element embedded forever in the American temperament, it is the need - the essential need - to determine one's own destiny. Perhaps that is why, for example, the story of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz has been told and retold in different forms by American authors since 1939, at least. This course wants primarily to study what goes into establishing a contemporary American identity. It is pretty exciting to have new, creative texts written by different ethnic groups, different sexual orientations, different genders, different religions- all describing their particular America. It is the multitude of difference that produces what we think of as our personal America. So many Americas. Yet with all the differences, contemporary American literature shares a pride, often a disappointment, but always a will to make it better. In this course we will spend the term exploring the conflicting tensions inherent to those ideas.



Selections from texts primarily - not completely - will be chosen from the following: Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies; Michael Cunningham's A Home at the End of the World; Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye; Louise Erdrich's The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse; Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay; Anthony Giardina's Recent History; Eric Liu's The Accidental Asian, Audre Lorde's Zami: A New Spelling of My Name; Myla Goldberg's The Bee Season; Gloria Naylor's The Men of Brewster Place; and Deborah Eisenberg's All Around Atlantis. BUT, of course, we will start off the term watching the film The Wizard of Oz. There will be a weekly written response and comprehensive midterm and final exams.

-university of michigan course guide, english 317, section 001-

posted by The Wizard



Wow, this sounds like a cool class. Makes you wish you were back in Michigan hunh?

posted by Tin Man



Yeah it does. Someone take this and tell me what's it's all about. Go. Register. Now.

Every finger in the room

Is pointing at me

I wanna spit in their faces

Then I get afraid of what that could bring

I got a bowling ball in my stomach

Got a desert in my mouth

Figures that my courage would choose

To sell out now

-tori amos, crucify-

"Blessed is he who makes his companions laugh"

-The Holy Koran-



Just a question...



What makes having friends so great?



Most people will say its for the companionship, the comraderie, the fact that you can be yourself in front of someone and they won't laugh or make fun of you. And some may say that its just cause people don't want to be alone in life...they need other people to survive.



I can dig all those statements...but how many of those people that you call your "friend" can you trust? How many of those people do you every now and then keep things from because you know they wouldn't understand? How many of those people that are your so-called "friends" have stolen something from you be it lover or property?



So now tell me whats the deal with having friends?



My opinion...very few people should ever have the privilage of being called a "friend".



When you call someone your "friend", in my opinion, you are almost calling them your brother or sister. They can often be closer than blood. You are purposely allowing them to have access to your deepest fears and desires. You are giving them a license to be real with you and to expose your insecurities to them. A "friend" is someone who you trust beyond trust.



Now how many of you can say that you have a "friend"



With the above definition many of you may be saying..."damn, I don't have nobody"...my next question is...



What does that say about you?



It says that you haven't thought too long and hard about the people that you consider "friends". Before you think I'm all high and mighty let me tell you...I have learned the hard way when it comes to friends. I am here to admit that I do not have a lot of friends...and frankly I don't want any more than I have. I like associates. Basically thats what most peoples "friends" are anyway.



I mean for instance if you can't tell your so-called "friend" that you are gay...then they are not a "friend".



A friend is someone who will stand by you through thick and thin. A friend is someone who is down for you and has your back...and will go through the fire with you. A friend is someone who will love you no matter who or what you are. And a friend tells you the truth...no matter how brutal. But more than that...a friend is someone who you are comfortable in going through these things with....and in the end...when the smoke clears...you still love that person and they are still considered your "friend".



The word "friend" like the word "love" has power. When you bestow the title of "friend" on someone you are giving them entry into your life. And there is nothing wrong with that. But make sure that you are giving someone who is going to live up to that title a chance before you give it to any old person.



Ultimately what I'm saying is be cautious....



Pick and choose your "friends" wisely...cause a "friend" of today...can be an enemy of tomorrow...

-forgot who i got it from-

I think it may be time to take this down. The format is starting to lose its appeal.

posted by The Wizard



What's the difference? It's not like you can't just leave this up on the web and have it sit. It'll be like a webpage pre-blogger. You know how that works. Maybe if this dies, you can go to blogger limbo. How cool would that be?

posted by Tin Man



I'm thinking that I don't really need you to talk to anymore. I'm ready to be an entirely independent person. Life is a changing. I have much less free time now too. I would be sad though. This is one and a half, going on two years. That's pretty big. It's the longest thing I've ever committed to. How sad...

posted by The Wizard



Well. My vote is for us to stay. I mean, I could just pack up and leave, but then where would you stick all your random blog bits that you don't put on your other site? You will come back my son. Don't worry. I'm sure of it.

posted by Tin Man



My juice is starting to run low. I need to re-fuel. Talking to you. Talking to anyone. Is kind of taxing right now...then again, I'm sure I'll demand some attention in a day or two. I'm fickle like that.

posted by The Wizard



As long as you know which side your bread is buttered.

posted by Tin Man



Which side IS my bread buttered?

I was trying to figure what might be the worst thing to say to someone. To really, you know, slander them! What to use when I get really mad and I just want them to feel really low and horrible. Like what would be the biggest insult imaginable?

posted by The Wizard



Well, for one, you might not want to use ¡°slander¡± too often. That word might implicate you as one of those wussy boys not tough enough to use real curse words. What¡¯s wrong with just using the ever-versatile ¡°motherfucker?¡±

posted by Tin Man



Eh. It¡¯s a little......done. You know? I mean, everyone uses it. It doesn¡¯t mean anything anymore. ¡°You motherfucker!¡± just doesn¡¯t do it for me. I would feel so trite using it. I need something more punchy, more original. I¡¯ve always been partial to ¡°you son of a motherless goat!¡± or maybe ¡°you son of a whore!¡± What do you think about those?

posted by The Wizard



Not so good. I feel like ¡°son of a whore¡± is really not directed at the person, but rather, it implies that their mother is a whore. Too roundabout and indirect of an insult. And c¡¯mon, people¡¯s moms can be whores. There¡¯s still love there. Don¡¯t hate just because they need some money. Didn¡¯t ¡°what would you do¡± really highlight the desperate financial plight facing whore mothers in our society? Plus it¡¯s so un-PC nowadays. To be calling people whores. You should probably go with ¡°call girl¡± or ¡°brothel brethren.¡± Also, using just ¡°son¡± is discriminating against women, and they don¡¯t like that. You really might want to consider throwing in a ¡°daughter¡± in there somewhere. I mean, you can hate, but don¡¯t discriminate. And what the hell is a motherless goat anyway? Is that even possible?

posted by Tin Man



Hum. I¡¯m out of ideas. What do you use?

posted by The Wizard



I like to use the more is better approach. Like combining all the curse words I know into one big insult. For example, ¡°You asshole sucking bitch motherfucking asshole!¡± It¡¯s got a nice rhythm to it¡­.notice the double down on asshole? That¡¯s important. You want to really make them feel bad, double down. And with all the syllables you have to scream out, you really work up a nice mouth lather too. That adds a nice effect. Bring a napkin though. All that slime is straight up gross.

posted by Tin Man



There really just needs to be a simple word to imply ¡°very ultimate hate.¡±

posted by The Wizard



Oh! Very ultimate hate! Not just ultimate hate? Wow.

posted by Tin Man



Shut up.

What mad Nijinsky wrote

About Diaghilev

Is true of the normal heart

For the error bred in the bone

Of each woman and each man

Craves what it cannot have

Not universal love

But to be loved alone

-w.h. auden, september 1, 1939-

Naive:

(1) Lacking worldly experience and understanding, especially: simple and guileless. unsuspecting or credulous.

(2) Showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and critical judgment.

(3) One who is artless, credulous, or uncritical.



Cynic:

(1) A person who believes all people are motivated by selfishness.

(2) A person whose outlook is scornfully and often habitually negative.

(3) A member of a sect of ancient Greek philosophers who believed virtue to be the only good and self-control to be the only means of achieving virtue.



It's cool now. To be cynical. It's the in-thing for my generation. Being naive means being young again. To be a child. To have all four basic food groups covered by breakfast. With a bowl of cocoa puffs, an eggo and a 10% real fruit strawberry popsicle. Doesn't that sound nice?

posted by The Wizard



But it also means to not be worldy. And to be unable to make sophisticated and critical judgements. Do you really want that? Children are naive and can be forgiven for it. But adults trade in their naivete for a bite of the forbidden fruit, thus gaining wisdom and the ability to differentiate between good and evil. Plus, you hate cocoa puffs...

posted by Tin Man



Is that really a good thing? (Meaning the cynicism, not the cocoa puffs, but thanks for reminding me) We just learn how to not get hurt when we're cynical. How to close ourselves off. And we learn that the world is a far scarier place than we ever imagined, even without the closet monsters and freaky bedroom lurkers from our childhood. I think it might be easier in the long run to try being uncritical and credulous.

posted by The Wizard



Show me an uncynical twenty year old and I'll show you a giant squid.

posted by Tin Man



What?

posted by The Wizard



Exactly.

posted by Tin Man



Drugs and alchohol don't mix man. Don't forget that.

I think I'm gonna make one final push to finish up school and get my damn degree. It'll take a few months, but I've decided that if I don't hurry up and do it, I'll never finish. Whoever said degrees were important anyway? Sheesh.

posted by The Wizard



Well. I'm happy you're deciding to finally get officially recognized for your "hard work." Like your mom says, without that paper, you're no better than a high school graduate. You know where high school graduates end up right?

posted by Tin Man



Flute factories?

posted by The Wizard



No. They end up serving french fries from the bottom rung of the social ladder. Your parents didn't spend a hundred fifty thousand dollars on your education for you to end up wearing funny hats.

posted by Tin Man



Didn't the Scarecrow realize at the end of The Wizard of Oz that he had the brains all along and that the paper meant nothing?

posted by The Wizard



Well. He had the brains the whole way along but he still took the damn degree didn't he?

posted by Tin Man



Um. Good point.

Do you think jealousy's a bad thing?

posted by The Wizard



Of course. Jealousy's terrible. It's the evil green eyed monster. If jealousy wasn't bad, it would be the pink fluffy bunny.

posted by Tin Man



You're dumb. Well. That much is obvious. Do you think jealousy can be good though? I mean, when someone is jealous over you, doesn't that make you feel a little elated?

posted by The Wizard



Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and possession. That's not good. To me, being jealous is assuming that someone is yours, and that their actions have to be filtered through you first. I'm not for that. I mean, it's cute when someone gets jealous over you. Because you know they care, but I would rather have them express that care in other ways. Besides, jealousy just ruins things.

posted by Tin Man



I think it might be possible to have jealousy without insecurity. I mean, you can be a tiny bit jealous over something, even though you are secure in your relationship. Jealousy is only bad when the actions stemming from it are harmful.

posted by The Wizard



Like fights and arguments and yelling. Those are bad. I still think it's possible to eliminate all jealousy however. Or to feel it and then deal with it immediately.

posted by Tin Man



What about the oft cited argument that if you love something enough, you'll want to be protective of it, and thus jealous?

posted by The Wizard



I think that's bull. If you love it, you'll set it free.

posted by Tin Man



What happens if you set it free and it walks out?

posted by The Wizard



You cry and sob and drink alot.

posted by Tin Man



Oh.

I sit here on the stairs

'Cause I'd rather be alone

If I can't have you right now

I'll wait, dear

Sometimes I get so tense

But I can't speed up the time

But you know, love

There's one more thing to consider



Said, woman, take it slow

And things will be just fine

You and I'll just use a little patience

Said, sugar, take the time

'Cause the lights are shining bright

You and I've got what it takes

To make it, We won't fake it,

I'll never break it

'cause I can't take it

-guns n roses, patience-

This article talks about "Industry (the Tin Man), Agriculture (the Scarecrow), Military (the Lion), and Citizenry (Dorothy) as they make economic progress down a street backed by the gold standard, to reach the city of Ounce (oz.) which is green like money, wherein they find and then expose the fraudulent myths of Religion (The Great Oz)."

Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher, evolved a philosophical system which divided existence into three categories; that is, he claimed that experience may be of three kinds: aesthetic, ethical, and religious.



The child is an example of the individual who lives almost exclusively at the aesthetic level. For the child, all choices are made in terms of pleasure and pain, and experience is ephemeral, having no continuity, no meaning, but being merely a connection of isolated, non-related moments. The ethical level of experience involves choice; whenever conscious choice is made, one lives at the ethical level. At the religious level, one experiences a commitment to oneself, and an awareness of one's uniqueness and singleness. To live at the religious level means to make any sacrifice, any antisocial gesture that is required by being true to oneself.



Clearly, these levels are not entirely separable, but may coexist; when one chooses the aesthetic level of existence, the very act of choice involved ethical experience; and when one makes choices at the ethical level, and these choices are true to one's own singleness, one lives at the religious level.

posted by The Wizard



I think that's what I want. A life at the religious level. But I possess neither the conviction nor the strength to escape the aesthetic level. And so I'm, in truth, still bumbling about on the ethical level, with grandiose visions of a yet unseen religious level.

posted by The Wizard



I think that's why you have to respect and admire religious folk. Because if they are true, they are living a life that is full of conviction. Regardless of what you think about those convictions, the mere fact that they can committ is reason enough to applaud.