you can do it put your back into it. it's done. all my passwords and secret things have been compiled into a document and i'm now ready to share them. not with you though. and not with george either, even if it is her idea that we should be exchanging passwords/bank accounts/credit card numbers/etc. apparently george and i don't trust each other enough to directly exchange our information just yet. my time served for breaking into her hello kitty diary must not be over. and i can't let go of her nasty habit of using my secrets to get back at me when we're in an argument. so, the thing to do, we decided, was to give all of our information to a third party. which third party? you will have to kill both of us (quickly, compassionately and at the same time) to find out. this was another reason for us to exchange information through a third party. if we happen to go down the cherry blossom lane together, someone else will have access to our secrets -- i mean, our important account information.



i've decided to take the exchanging of passwords one step further. i'm not writing a will, because really, i have nothing to bequeath upon anyone. except my sidekick-2 to ameer, which is his in the instance that i move past this life before he upgrades to the new one. everything else is free game. actually no, scratch that. i will make a will, it's much easier that way. but i think i should also ready a document that will contain my thoughts about everyone and everything. in case i get famous soon and people are interested in what i think, thought. i'm just covering my ass here in case i get gunned down -- hopefully by an unknown assailant, rap star style -- as i accept my pulitzer or something. we're hitting the age when death is starting to be an issue and not just a fun getting to know you, "oh, where are you from?" game.



the age when we start to acquire stuff, that's when we need to think about death. if you have a car, a house, a family, a life, or in my case, important fantasy sports' commissioner duties, you need to think about how other people will access your records when you die. it's actually quite amazing, how far you can get into someone's account just by saying "oh i'm sorry, he's passed away and i don't have the password, can't you just send me his information? weep weep sob sob. thank you oh so much. bless your soul." death is a powerful negotiating tool. if i were into scamming people for their password protected valuables, death would be my number weapon.



but sometimes, even citing a person's death will get you nowhere. so i encourage everyone to write down their passwords, their accounts, their sensitive information, their every itty bitty secret and mental transgression, and pass it along to a trusted friend, ally or family member. this seems like a pretty drastic step for twenty something year olds, but by listening to my words of wisdom, you'll thank me when you're dead. or the people who finally get their hands on your free magazine subscriptions will thank me. whatever.



for my preemptory advice, be sure to leave me something sparkly, electronic or expensive in your will. thanks. my condolences for your eventual death. tell me what kind of flowers you like and i'll be sure to send them at the appropriate time.