what kind of a school does your son attend? oh the social power tool that is handed to you when you've attended a top ten university. did you know that at certain ivy league schools, it's de rigeur to exchange SAT scores within five minutes of meeting? "can i get your phone number? oh by the way, what was your SAT score?" there's a certain prestige to going to an ivy league school. how do i know this? if not through empirical magazine rankings, then i would know which schools are better than all the others by listening to parents around the nation -- especially chinese parents.



the asian-american child is pushed to excel at academics. parents invest their lives and their money into making sure that their kids have the best opportunities to get into the best colleges. this is a cultural thing. ever since the tang dynasty, anyone in china could get a government post by passing an examination (the tests mostly had to do with interpreting confucius' writings). so even if you were a poor rice farmer, if your child could pass the standardized test, they could assure themselves of a better life and an official position with the goverment.



this ancient opportunity for advancement has been translated by modern chinese parents into "school or die." i'm sure every ethnicity has pressure from parents to get their kids into a good college and beyond, but since i can only relate to the chinese experience, i'd say that being asian-american, your childhood was most likely very school centered. so the pride that a child feels when (s)he gets into a great college can only be outshined by the smile on their parents' faces.



nothing measures a chinese parent's child rearing skills more than where their child went to college. did your parents feed you only once a week, dress you in the most faddish of neon colors, hug you never, scold and ground you for A-minuses, contribute cosmically to your social stuntedness? hey, who cares? if you got into harvard, the chinese community will give your parents verbal trophies and put them in the pantheon of "super parents." according to conformist chinese thought, a parent must have done something right if their kid went to stanford. nevermind their happiness, happiness can be bought later and enjoyed during an early retirement.



there is this glow, during the tail end of senior year, that accompanies super parents. these parents wander the streets of our fair cities, hanging out at the local 99, chilling late nights with the mah-jong set, attending ubearably chatty dinner parties, all just hoping to be asked "so, where did little henry get into school?" finally the super parent can restrain themselves no more. "harvard, stanford, princeton, upenn, dartmouth, duke and berkeley (as a safety)." all the other parents kowtow to the super parent's superior child raising abilities. then they get on their rotary phones and call their own children -- who are supposedly studying hard at the library, supposedly -- and say "henry got into harvard and stanford! did you get your acceptance letter yet?" february and march are trying months for chinese parents.



the "walk of pride" is the act that a super parent will take with their child when they're both at a dinner party, preferably one filled with childhood acquaintances and many family friends. "hello, this is my son, henry, and he just got into stanford. do you have a suitable daughter? i thought not. come along henry, next table." there is nothing better for a parent than showing the world that their genetic offspring is now headed off to one of the best schools in the country. their entire lives have been validated, nothing could possibly compare to "a child at harvard."



actually, to retract a bit. most super parents don't even bother waiting to be asked where little henry got into school. ask them about anything and the first thing they reply with is "my son is at harvard, i'll have a hot tea and the udon." strangely, this annoying habit is not only forgivable but almost encouraged. it's as if every parent concedes the fact that if it was their child who had gotten into harvard, they would be screaming it from the top of every mountain too. all expectations of chinese humility are set aside when your kid makes the big time.