defying gravity. the best relationship advice i've ever gotten? technically, it wasn't relationship advice but rather pre-relationship advice. the words of wisdom boiled down to "get it over fast, get it over quick, bite the bullet, know where you stand." this having to do with finding out if someone could possibly have requited interest in you. the worst feeling in all the world is not knowing if someone likes you or not. you sit there and wonder, staring at them out of the corner of your eyes, feeling their very prescence from across the room. did that glance and quick smile have more significance than its supposed to? when she said she'll call, will she? this is pre-relationship torture. the not knowing part. so, one of my friends many years ago showed me, by example, how to eradicate this problem.



there was this girl that he probably maybe liked. he had been eyeing her for awhile and the mixed signals he was receiving weren't giving him any clear indication about what her feelings for him were. so, over a quick beer, during a brief interlude at a party, he asked her. "so, how do you feel about me?" paraphrased of course. i'm sure there was a lead in and an intro, a smooth transition from "how's the party" to "so, do you like me?" actually, i know that this particular friend doesn't mince words so he probably did ask exactly as i've reconstructed it.



when he told me what he had done, i was in total shock. wait, you actually just asked her? like right then and there? no preparation? no counsel? no passing notes back and forth between her friends and your friends? that's incredible! that's so mature! that's so taking the bitch by her horns! is that even allowed? his response was that such a swift decisive action can only be positive. either she returns your feelings of affection or she doesn't -- freeing you to cry in your little corner a bit earlier. my friend made the international gesture for wiping his hands clean and left his pre-relationship dilemma at that. and like a little padawan, i learned from his exercise in temerity, vowing to always declare my feelings if ever i felt them.



at which point you decide to ask the person is up to you. if you want to nip the potential like/love/fascination/pain in the bud, before you get flagrantly emotional, do it soon. if you want to wait until you are fully emotionally bound up to ask, then do it later. the only thing to not do is sit there and never ask, never find out, never know if they could or could not like you, out of fear that the answer is "no." or just out of general pussyness. also, don't ask if you're not sure you like them, otherwise you could be opening up an entirely different can of worms. if you just want to take a shot in the dark and see what you hit, this advice is not for you. anyway, that my friends, is the best relationship advice i've ever gotten. go forth and prosper.