the price of freedom. it cost me a speeding ticket today to vote. excited as i was to be participating in my first democratic election, i sped away from the voting booth with an "i voted" sticker in hand and euphoria in my heart. zing. i sped away too fast. "excuse me sir, did you know you were going 45 in a 25?" let's rewind a little.



first off, the voting booth was located in a garage. apparently this is a commonly known fact. did everyone else know that voting booths were located in garages? for some reason i envisioned having to vote in a huge building -- manned by security officers, swat teams and reporters. i imagined voting would be done in a place more glamorous, with patriotic bunting strewn around and a red carpet. i prepared myself for long lines, for protestors, for pepper spray. i even tried to look my best in case they wanted to interview me to get the "minority perspective." instead it turns out that i was voting 0.7 miles away from hotel pan, in a residential area that i drive by all the time. ho hum. can anyone just sign up to host voters? how's that work? maybe i'll try to open up my home in four years, so i can really feel like i'm participating in the fate of our nation.



so i walk up to the voting booth and am greeted by three very nice ladies -- who are not only voting booth volunteers by day but also pta moms by night. this is how our country works? the cogs of democracy are our soccer moms? who knew? suddenly all those stories about lost votes, missing ballots, hanging chads, it's all making sense to me. i'm not trying to disparage soccer moms but if millions of votes are being counted in garages across america, i can see how a few thousand might get misplaced here or there.



so, i vote and i leave. i feel somewhat underwhelmed. this was "rocking the vote?" i feel like i just bought cookies at a bake sale. so i drive away thinking about the inner workings of our grassroots democracy when suddenly a motorcycle cop pulls me over. barely half a mile away from the voting booth and i've been pulled over for speeding.



apparently there's an old person's home right near hong's house on the way to the freeway. also apparently, apparently also, there are large signs that say "slow down, reduce speed." why they didn't just put pictorial representations of old people in walkers crossing the street is beyond me, that woulda been far more effective -- it works for the border right? i race along this very road all the time. sometimes i even hit 50mph. zoom zoom. there's never anybody on this damn road you idiots. and who decided to put an old person's home right next to a freeway anyway? retarded.



i won't bore you with my conversation with mr coppity cop. suffice to say i got a ticket despite trying to smile most patriotically and displaying my voting sticker prominently. do cops have nothing better to do than prey on unsuspecting people coming off of first time voter high? shouldn't they be stationed at voting booths in case fights break out amongst the pta moms?



i'm gonna vote to reduce policemen salaries next election. i'm sure of that. anyway, i'm chalking up the ticket to the price that it costs to live in a de-mock-cracy. it's either that or live under a dictatorship right? i'm sure in iraq, people are just dying to be ticketed for going 45 in a 25.