relationship theorem #53. i have a theory that the first thing you argue about in your new relationship will also end up being the last. can we get a confirmation on this from anyone? i figure that in a new (wonderful) relationship, you hold off on getting mad at each other until the last possible second, or until something really irks you. so by the time you enter into the first real argument it'll be something that will hang over your relationship for eternity. and when that relationship inevitably ends, that initial argument will be the thing that ends it. for the record, "no, i'm not hanging up, you hang up....don't make me mad! giggle giggle." doesn't count as a real argument. if you go through this dialogue, you should break up immediately. for the good of mankind.



without solid evidence -- or a monetary grant to conduct proper research -- i give this theory an off the cuff accuracy rating of seventy three percent. your anecdotal evidence to support or rebut. go.



this also extends to "first doubts." your first doubt about someone in a relationship will also be the doubt that breaks the relationship's back. i give this corollary theory a sixty one percent success rate. and for those people who say that they've never had a doubt or an argument in any relationship, i maintain that they are either fifteen and in serious puppy love or just covering for somebody. i can't wait till the hammer drops on these people. can. not. wait.