your flirt finds me out

teases the crack in me

smittens me with hope

possibly maybe, possibly maybe, possibly maybe

-bjork, possibly maybe-



flirting. what's the deal man? what is flirting? we know what it is but what is it for? it's definitely for something right? there is no flirting just for the sake of flirting is there? some people get affirmation, some people crave the attention, some people do it just to do it, because they are like wicked and nasty. but mostly flirting is our way of communicating with the other half. peacocks get feathers, we get flirting. god is a fair and just and a designer and a creator, we are not left defenseless and alone in the ways of flirtation. like our animal brethren we too are outfitted with weapons of destruction and attraction.



then again, sometimes peacocks will just let fly their colors for no reason at all. not to attract attention but just because their ass/feather muscles need some stretching. so maybe there is something to just flirting for the sake of flirting. but i think that all flirting has a motivation and a purpose behind it. it's not even to "get the girl/guy" or anything as simple as that. sometimes flirting is like lifting weights, you want to slap on the twenties and see how much you can lift, just to do it, for no real purpose at all, except to show off. it's not only a game it's a very complex life or death game. a few things about flirting i need to put down, bear with me.



if flirtation is naturally a part of you, should you stop it? should you turn off your charms? stop touching guy's arms? (yeah, that rhymed) is flirting bad? of course not, we all do it. some of us better than others but we all do it. we have our own ways of flirtation, whether it's that talk, or that walk, or that voice or that hug. whatever it is, we know what our strengths are. flirting is a conscious thing and you would be a liar if you said it wasn't. there is however, a difference between what you know is flirting and what other people construe as flirting. flirting is relative, as is everything else in the world. but moving right along.



a big flirter, is that just like a trait? like oh, she's loud, she's obnoxious, she's a flirter... i think it is. some people just do it, it's a part of them. it's how they get from point A to point B. you can't stop it and you can't ask them to stop it. flirting is a natural right and possibly in the constitution or the bill of rights (did u know benjamin franklin was a big pimp and a womanizer? our founding fathers used their intelligence for more than designing this country, that's for sure). this does not mean however that you can't fight tooth and nail to prevent flirting in your immediate vicinity. if you have to protect your space, do so with swiftly, leave no evidence or bodies. don't let other peacocks pop their feathers in your face. survial of the fittest man.



last thing, girls or guys who feel like they lack the flirting instinct. who feel that they have been disadvantaged by being given all the wrong color feathers, or even worse, no feathers at all. girls, i'm talking to you more, because if a guy doesn't flirt well, he just pretty much is resigned to playing video games all day. and blogging, let's not forget that. anyway. some girls i know say that they don't know "how to flirt." and none of the "flirting for dummies" books are helpful. should they be doing things different? dressing hoochier? showing more intelligence? showing less intelligence? laughing at jokes? licking their lips? baking cakes? a swang swanging that hair? what do they do? it's a big mystery. there are definitely things that girls can do to up their basic flirtation repertoire. guys are pretty dumb in general, we fall for the same tricks over and over again. you've seen lemmings just over the cliff time and time again, that's nature's equivalent to us males. so, an average girl really only needs on average, three tricks to be a successful flirter.



but why change? why be a girl who has to "consciously" flirt? ah, but as i've mentioned up above, all flirting is already conscious. so it's not selling out if you have to be more conscious about it. just because flirting doesn't come naturally to you doesn't mean you don't do it. practice makes perfect my friends. try the "stupid" things that girls do, the batting the eyes, the leaning in, the grabbing of the arm, the make out while drunk thing. it's totally idiotic but it works. guaranteed. some girls may need to actually cut back on all that but it's a personal choice for them, we are not here to hate or to discriminate. flirt on people. it's your imperative as humans and american citizens to flirt. remember that four out of five insane would be world conquering dictators have been against flirting. so go to it. fight the power.



am i done? far from it, but i have work to do.