Monday, February 10, 2003

my mom is back from taiwan and china, after two months or so of working there and taking care of the business. the re-nagging started right as i came in the door. is that even a word? re-nag? same thing isn't it? to nag and re-nag. anyway, so yeah, i'm like all dulled up and toned out because i don't want to be paying attention to her even though i should. she was like "who slept over, why is this or that, did u take care of the car!?!" all that jazz and everything in-between. i didn't even have the heart to bust out the tattoo yet.



i think it's a horrible situation for us to be in. her role as mom trying to be boss trying to be mom trying to be loving trying to instill in me responsibility. i wonder how she feels about it. i would like to tell her that i don't need instillment at this point. i either have it or i don't. nothing she can say or do will change that. it just creates more distance when she swings between amazon woman and mom person. sometimes i wish she would chill for a second and just be a mom (then again, she probably wishes i were a real boy so it's even). and to clearly separate the mom times and the boss times. instead of having it all mix together into one big time that is really nothing more than "stare at a spot and ignore" time. how do you tell your mom to chill out?

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