love potion number nine. i was feverish all weekend. my hands were clammy. my stomach was in knots. my throat ached. my eyes were dry. my head was vise gripped. the kidney portion of my anatomy was giving me fits. i had to run every few hours. not run as in run away. but run as in bowel displacement run(s).



in short. i was in love. tom hanks. meg ryan. i was sleepless. and i had mail. i feel you now. every third kleenex i used was dedicated to you.



i wondered the big questions like, "why do i feel this way?" "why does it hurt so?" "will it ever go away?" if love is supposed to be this painful. forget it. i'm done. i'm rain checking on love. (or wait, i did that already) i can't think rationally enough as it is. add in wooziness and dizziness and the inability to walk a straight line without stumbling, and i'm fifty times more idiotic than usual. that's "at least" fifty times.



but it's okay. have no fear. my world is soon to be rainbow colored again. because i am on the road to recovery. hooked on phonics worked for me. the grime covered chinese doctor probably had something to do with it too. he gave me twelve vials of liquid herbal remedy. and said i would be healed in five days. no less. if love, or the lack of it, was as easy to eradicate as a virus...we could all stop being cynical and cavort about and do the dance of joy. "cousin larry!"