friends. can't live with'em. can't live without'em. oh wait. that's women. ah. whatever. same thing. everyone's undergoing this crisis right about now. not quite everyone. not quite a real crisis. but there are enough afflicted people to call it an outbreak. this "who are my real friends" thing. i find it interesting that this is happening to friends who are still in college. and to friends who are already out of college.



the first year, freshly out of school, you wonder "who will my friends be?" a year later, it's pretty easy to look around and say "okay, these people are my friends." even if "these people" actually denotes no one. i wonder if more people are wondering who their friends are, or if more people are enjoying their current friend(s)ship status. i guess it's all relative.



i've never gone through a full blown "who are my friends" thing. or even a mini-blown one. i mean, at the very absolute rock bottom. i still had george. and isn't that all anyone ever really needs? george? (this is not shameless posturing. thanks for the DVDs by the way) but beyond that. i've always felt that my people, whoever they are, will just be there. and i don't really think much about whether they'll "be there for me" or if "they know the real me." because i assume they'll be there if i need them, and when i need them, i'll go hunt them down. and if the "me" they know isn't the real "me"....who cares?....as long as they say they like me. i'm not that shallow. really.



what shocks me sometimes is when someone will tell me that we've drifted. and they tell me that they doubted our friendship. for whatever reason. and i guess it's because to me, 99% of the time, whatever depth we've ever reached as friends before, that's where someone remains. if we've frolicked together and hung out twenty four seven for two weeks and then never laid eyes on each other for years, we're still just as close as those halcyon two weeks. call me delusional. call me full of it. many people do. it's okay.



but i feel like, despite not being in someone's life all the time, you can still be amazing friends. the patterns change. the rhythms change. but the care does not. then again, there is an argument to be made here for, "if you care then why don't you see each other more?" well. i suppose it makes sense. "actions speak louder than words" i hear from an objection from the back. but i don't believe that's right all the time. each friend has their own method of operation. some people you need to be in constant contact with. some people, you see them when you see them. actually, most of my really close friends. i hardly ever see. and i would hope that isn't the continuing trend. but i think we understand if we aren't in constant email/phone/live contact.



i think that's what it takes sometimes. when undergoing friendship dilemmas. how much is it worth to you? to understand? to maybe give a little. or to just talk about stuff. even "why aren't we friends anymore?" it's not a fun discussion but hey. conflict builds character. and heck. if you hate all your friends. you're welcome to come to san diego and sit on the couch with me. i'll be your friend. for free even.