I was trying to figure what might be the worst thing to say to someone. To really, you know, slander them! What to use when I get really mad and I just want them to feel really low and horrible. Like what would be the biggest insult imaginable?

posted by The Wizard



Well, for one, you might not want to use ¡°slander¡± too often. That word might implicate you as one of those wussy boys not tough enough to use real curse words. What¡¯s wrong with just using the ever-versatile ¡°motherfucker?¡±

posted by Tin Man



Eh. It¡¯s a little......done. You know? I mean, everyone uses it. It doesn¡¯t mean anything anymore. ¡°You motherfucker!¡± just doesn¡¯t do it for me. I would feel so trite using it. I need something more punchy, more original. I¡¯ve always been partial to ¡°you son of a motherless goat!¡± or maybe ¡°you son of a whore!¡± What do you think about those?

posted by The Wizard



Not so good. I feel like ¡°son of a whore¡± is really not directed at the person, but rather, it implies that their mother is a whore. Too roundabout and indirect of an insult. And c¡¯mon, people¡¯s moms can be whores. There¡¯s still love there. Don¡¯t hate just because they need some money. Didn¡¯t ¡°what would you do¡± really highlight the desperate financial plight facing whore mothers in our society? Plus it¡¯s so un-PC nowadays. To be calling people whores. You should probably go with ¡°call girl¡± or ¡°brothel brethren.¡± Also, using just ¡°son¡± is discriminating against women, and they don¡¯t like that. You really might want to consider throwing in a ¡°daughter¡± in there somewhere. I mean, you can hate, but don¡¯t discriminate. And what the hell is a motherless goat anyway? Is that even possible?

posted by Tin Man



Hum. I¡¯m out of ideas. What do you use?

posted by The Wizard



I like to use the more is better approach. Like combining all the curse words I know into one big insult. For example, ¡°You asshole sucking bitch motherfucking asshole!¡± It¡¯s got a nice rhythm to it¡­.notice the double down on asshole? That¡¯s important. You want to really make them feel bad, double down. And with all the syllables you have to scream out, you really work up a nice mouth lather too. That adds a nice effect. Bring a napkin though. All that slime is straight up gross.

posted by Tin Man



There really just needs to be a simple word to imply ¡°very ultimate hate.¡±

posted by The Wizard



Oh! Very ultimate hate! Not just ultimate hate? Wow.

posted by Tin Man



Shut up.