one trick pony. you get a puppy. cutest little thing the world. people look at it and go "hey, a puppy!" cooing and petting ensue. invariably, the puppy does things that are destructive, yet endearing because anything a puppy does is cute. bite you? cute. poop on the floor? cute. rip up your shoes? cute. sleep on your face? cute. puppy woof at the slightest provaction? cute. then, as the puppy grows up and you start to get over the cuteness of it all, you wish it was trained. every time it poops on the carpet or rips stuff up you say "bad doggie, bad." over time, all those things that were done by the cute puppy become annoying when done by a dog.
and this is my picture perfect analogy to what happens when all those endearing things you used to like about a significant other become the most annoying things on earth. she sings obscure pop songs under her breath? references clairol commercials? bites your ring finger in mock aggression? pretends to use another name when answering the phone? gives you the dirty look from across the room? all these things were acceptable and cute when you liked her. but as the feelings fade away, the first thing that annoy you are the things that you associate with her.
then she says "but you used to like it when i spanked your soul and laughed at my own jokes, what happened?" that is the death knell of any relationship. you. used. to. once anyone uses those words, you know you are already living in the past and you have no future. pull the plug right there. you have jumped the relationship shark, with flying colors and a triple sowcow. why does this happen? why do you hate all the things that were cute before? the answer is: because it was only cute when you liked her but it's not really that cute at all. the fog of love(war) shields our eyes from things that would normally be annoying. ask your friends, they know. "isn't it cute when abigail mispronounces every word over three syllables?" "actually man, it's not cute at all, it's very annoying." you write your friends off as just not knowing anything. four months later you are leading the charge toward secession, wielding lines like, "man, i hate it when she mispronounces big words, it makes her look so stupid."
ah, this is the way with love. it's biological in nature i'm sure, as everything is. first we are chemically induced to be attracted to anything. then when we want/need to emotionally disengage, another chemical pumps into our cerebrums, causing us to hate all that we liked before, making it easier to detach. this chemical is known as "sanity," otherwise marketed generically as "bitterness." and that's all i have to say about that.
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