martinet. there are a few things that a guy must do when in pursuit of a woman. these things include opening doors, using polite language, never calling her a bitch, return phone calls in a somewhat timely manner, make an effort. girls, if these are not any of the traits exhibited by your man in waiting, you need to let him go. even if he is devastatingly attractive. as much as i'm a big proponent of a woman taking the reins and driving an interest or dating relationship along, the guy is, in my opinion, responsible for making the initial foray into the wilderness.



he should call first. he should attempt to meet up first. he should be the one who goes out of the way to hang out especially if distance or scheduling is an issue. the girl's only job is to reciprocate, at least at the beginning. call me backward, call me a bitch, call me right. there are some things that guys just have to do. the number one worry for a girl when a guy is pursuing her is "is he interested?" she shouldn't be the one chasing after him trying to get the answer. he should come to her with his intentions clearly spelled out, even if it's in cryptic handwriting. i'm not saying men need to show their cards, but they need to be the ones making the effort.



this is even more true if he's the one who contacted her or got her number/email/aim/lame -- any guy who asks for an aim is to me, too retarded to bother wasting time with, unless it just comes up in conversation or it's on a friend tip. it may be a bit too victorian of me to suggest that the men need to woo the women, however, there is something to be said for the guy doing his part to let her know that he is interested. of course, if the girl wants to do all this work, that's fine and preferable, but if she doesn't, she shouldn't have to. there's no need to take the idea of equality this far. same applies to guys who refuse to pay for a date's meal. get off the high horse, pay for the meal asshole. it's an investment.



i would recommend to all female friends of mine to not waste any time on a guy who says "come drive two hours to visit me". they had better come visit you and come with good intentions in hand too. otherwise, back to the pool you go little fishy. there are too many men in the pool to bother with the ill mannered ones.



of course, in times of desperation, all rules go out the window. as we know.