men will date all types of women, but marry only a few: the high school sweetheart (the jejune joint crush that never matures or gets old); the trophy/sexual obsession (a possession he never truly possesses); the organizer (or human palm pilot); the audience (she flatters! she ego-boosts!); the nurturer (three squares a day); and the collaborator (the intellectual/creative rival and/or equal). each man's priorities are different. most of us don't know what we're looking for until we find it, then have to have to unlearn all the things we thought we wanted.





saying "i love you" is the heisenberg of relationships. the act of observing the thing changes the thing being observed. the woman says, "i love you" and hthe man is immediately forced to reexamine his feelings. suddenly, he's calibrating, considering, reconsidering...it pushed him one way or the other. but what women don't undersand or expect is that they're as likely to push him away as get an "i love you, too." in the dance of courtship, the game is to seem complete, problem-free. whoever cracks first loses. the winner gets the power position.

-cad: confessions of a toxic bachelor-