fastball special. when you have a good group of guy friends, they should be effective at making you look good. i've heard stories of guy friends who try to harm each other's chances with females. this is no good. why hang out with guys who are dragging your "game" down? you need guy friends who will swing conversations and activities into areas that you are good at. for example, i might say "richard, tell me about that time you saved the three cats plus the truckload of firemen, with just one functioning arm". predictably, the girl will be impressed and ask for the story. if the guy in question is a worthless mute, a real friend might even take control and tell the story for him, spicing up the tale as he sees fit.



another popular way to enhance your friend's appeal to a random girl is to highlight their talents. "billy, show me that trick with your ears again, it's so unique and cool". this one has worked many a time. if she seems like she might be impressed by intelligence? try this. "so last week, when you lent me that book on superior calculus, can you explain to me that part about transgressional equations?" this is done knowing full well that your friend has never opened a math book in his uneducated life. the proper way for him to swing the bat is to reply with "oh, that aquatic equestrian? that was so elemental, i don't want to board you with that now, i'll suck you later". the girl will be aflutter, trust me.



this is best when played by a group of guys, making for a "wing band". every time i observe this phenomenon happening, i find it so funny. actually, it's funniest when someone in particular does it, but i won't name any names here. in general, this game is most fun when you can make fun of the guy afterwards about it, or reminisce later with the girl about how well she was set up. and then ask her if it worked so that you can improve your efforts the next time around.



girl friends can also get into the game by pulling the target girl aside in the bathroom and saying blatant lies like "vladamir is so great! if only he would like me, he would be the perfect boyfriend! plus he's great with his mom (in bed)!" it never hurts to have the other side working for you. remember, lying will get you everywhere you want to go, especially if it's a collective effort.



a very related helpful tip for girls who read this humble love manual: never believe or trust anything that a guy's friends will tell you. don't be sucked into thinking that he's cool and sweet just because all his friends say that. they are just trying to get rid of dead weight by hoisting him onto you. the ever popular "wow, i can just tell how special he thinks you are by the way he looks at you" line is not to be believed either. everyone is lying: him, his friends, his friendster profile, everything is a lie.



don't hate me for exposing the greatest of guy secrets. i'm just trying to save lives and prevent whiny disaster fires.