disclosure remorse. i feel like there's an unwritten rule that you should tell friends about someone you're seeing within a certain time period. how that formula computes i'm not so sure. maybe the more that you interact with someone, the less time should pass between you telling them about a person you're dating? i personally don't bother to tell anyone about anyone i'm dating, or plan on dating, unless directed cornered and asked. and even then i like to hem and haw and squirm.

i just feel like it's weird. to drop the following into a conversation. "so, how's your day?" "i got a girlfriend, booyah, what're you doing?" then again, i get slightly put off when a friend of mine neglects to tell me that they are dating someone. i realize this makes me a bit of a hypocrite. but i expect to be updated on these things immediately, without having to ask. if i've already expressed that i have interest in this part of their lives, they should provide timely updates as action, or inaction, occurs.

there have been times when some of my very best friends haven't told me they were going out with someone. and meanwhile, the happy couple's entire flirting period happened right under my nose. i'd hang out with these people for two months straight, and then find out three months later that they started dating while the three of us were constantly hanging out. i think maybe i was just obtuse. no more i say. my eyes are wide open. well, as open as i can get them.

i say six months is a good grace period for letting most people know about a status change. if the gossip grapevine hasn't worked its way around by then, or they've not bothered to ask, then you're off the hook. i've gone months and years without telling some friends that i'm seeing anyone (or more accurately, did see; if months and years are involved). which is, i think, perfectly legit. unless you are a part of my disclosure life, i operate under the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. i just assume that if somebody wants to know, they'll ask. and if they don't ask, they're probably not that interested.

also, i find it very strange that when you run into an acquaintance, they immediately ask you "so, are you seeing anyone?" not that this happens to me of course. but i see it happen a lot. mainly between two females. it's like what's really important is not how they're doing or where they're living now, but if they've established a (temporary) romantic rapport with someone. or actually, between acquaintances, maybe you don't really care about anything they have to say, so you might as well go straight for the juicy stuff and hope that they'll say something like "oh yeah, i just went through my second annulment in eighteen months, want to see pictures?"

and what is it about two really good female friends -- best friends even -- who never talk about boys? don't you find that weird? it really flips my entire worldview on its side. girl friends who don't talk about boys? it's an entirely foreign concept to me. this topic to be fully explored once i can gather some more anecdotal evidence.