we've been sold a bill of goods when we're told to "follow your passion, " or "do what you love and the money will follow." fact is, if you do what you love, you'll probably starve.



yes, some people do what they love and the money follows. others make less money but still are happy, but millions of people have followed their passion and still haven't earned enough money to even pay back their student loans, let alone make a middle-class living doing what they're passionate about.

-do what you love and you'll probably starve-

in my update of "is doing what you love the best thing or what?" series, i've this to report. the answer is, no. doing what you love is not enough. i love video games but i do not love working in the video game industry. how can this be you ask? what could be better than showing up at work casual, late, and not get a second glance? well, try staring at the same video game for seventy hours a week, then tell me how much you love it. and i think the same holds true for all my co-workers. first off, my co-workers are all about video games. they put my video game knowledge and passion to shame. the other day, people were calling all local (meaning southern californian) video game stores in search of a game about building giant balls of trash. people were psyched about a game that involved trash. this is unprecedented stuff here. i've been out-geeked and out-dorked, my whole self image is in tatters.



the boys who work in the testing lab are cool too. they crack jokes, participate in derogatory photoshop wars, and keep the atmosphere loose and fun. but that's still not enough. nothing is that particularly exciting about racing the same cars around the same cities day after day. perhaps it's too early into my dream job to accurately assess my positio. but for now, i wouldn't mind leaving this job in six months or so. because this isn't what i want to do. i don't want to play video games all day. "blasphemy," you say. maybe my feelings would be different if i could design or review video games, but so far i've not come within sniffing distance of either task. am i hoping for too much? is the idea of insta-promotion out of vogue these days? i want to be elevated and promoted for my potential, not my damn qualifications.



in the past month i've been at work six days out of the week -- for twelve hour every other day. i'm losing friends, alienating my home computer and copulating only with game controllers. and it's not even crunch time yet. i've heard that during crunchtime we work eighteen hour days and go home only to sleep. can i kick it? i don't know. but i will because i want to. despite a job that isn't one hundred percent desireable, i'm slowly coming to realize that nothing you ever do under the thumb of another man can be one hundred percent perfect. work is never "fun." even if i got to play basketball every day, i doubt it would be "fun." it's a job baby, as soon as you get a paycheck. the difference in mindset between a "hobby" and a "job" cannot be underestimated. this is how low i've sunk in my optimist-ideology. i no longer crave to have fun at work, i just want to have flexible and non-mandated breaks (at my last job we could only break at certain times. miss those times and you give up your break).



eidolon ink told me, right before she left for africa, that her mom told her that the best thing to do is to not have your number one passion be your number one occupation. have your occupation be your second or third passion. this way you'll still have something care free to engage in outside of work. if you love cooking, getting into a culinary career might not be the best thing. you may come to hate potatoes and tomatoes after only six months of finger threatening chopping exercises. it's far better to be a brilliant amateur cook, rather than a sous chef at the local second rate restaurant.



so, dream the little dream, but keep the big dreams on the back burner. i think there is something positive to be said for working at a job you hate for forty hours and then having the rest of your life to youself. if your boring job can support your other endeavours, why not stay there and just suck it up?



what am i saying?!? this is crazy. i'm too young to think this way. someone get me out of here. it's a freaking football sunday and i'm nowhere near a tv.