uncanny, new, amazing, ultimate, x-treme, astonishing. now that i'm on the verge of turning twenty six i need to really take stock of my life. have the x-men been turned into a movie? yes. have the x-men been turned into a videogame? are the x-men now cool? yes. have i found secret x-fans among my friends? yes. they made a street fighter-esque x-men videogame? yes. have the x-men been turned into itty bitty pixelated versions of themselves, complete with every single costume they've ever worn? amazingly, yes (and this site contains just about the most amazing things i've ever seen). have they created the technology for implanting fully functional adamantium claws? not yet, but in my lifetime i hope.



sidenote: really, is this too much to ask for? people can get new breasts and butts and body organs and i can't get implanted claws? why is this? would surgeons not make a killing selling this service? do you know how many fanboys have been saving up for this life altering process? millions. maybe implanting metal knives into people's hands isn't the best idea right now, what with the stringent security measures that we've had to deal with recently, but what if they only allowed "heroic" people to have claws implanted? wouldn't that be a great idea? by the way, if the teenage mutant ninja turtles can be a musical, why not the x-men? the angst, the drama, the songs that could be written. and hugh jackman is already a broadway vet. might this be my calling in life? to pen the first x-men musical? actually, there is already a wolverine song based on one of jewel's work, and it's quite excellent so i'm not sure i could live up to the challenge. sample lyrics: cold shiny claws / pop out from my paws / to slay the evil mutants, / but they can’t stop / anti-mutant laws /which spread with such virulence. the mp3 is located here. i highly recommend that you download it.



obviously, many of my life goals, or things i want to happen before i die, have already been achieved. and now, one more item can be added to that list. jubilee is a playable video game character. this is huge. jubilee has always been one of my favorite x-characters. i know, everyone says that. it's so trite, so banal, so cliche. god, i feel like such an epigone. but really, how could she not be one of my favorite characters? she's chinese for one, she's got great style for two. she chews gum all the time, she wears sunglasses indoors, she's wolvie's sidekick, she's got tons of attitude. she used to live in a mall. what is there not to like? well sure, she's not the most powerful superhero ever. and she's kind of annoying at times. she's somewhat insecure, irrational and pompous. she likes to say "when i was with the x-men..." way too much. but jubilee's got spunk and spunk a commodity in short supply.



since the chance of finding the real life jubilation lee is somewhat slim, i'll have to settle for a video game version. for the record, three actresses have dared to assume the role of jubilee: heather mccomb, katrina florece and kea wong. note that only one has been asian. so far my favorite depiction of jubilee has been the job heather mccomb did in the short lived generation x series. then again, she's the only jubilee who had more than one line of dialogue so she kind of wins by default. but i think all these women, as talented as they are, will pale in comparison to video game jubilee. why? because jubilee is now starring (along with fourteen other x-men) in what could possibly be the greatest game of all time.



the game in question is an "action rpg" game based on the x-men called x-men legends. it's part gauntlet, part diablo two. it's sure to be all amazing. things to get excited about aside from the presence of jubilee: the game looks terrific graphically and it sounds like it actually plays well -- fast furious action and some serious strategy too. you can multi-player this game with up to four people (i've already come up with my fantasy x-men legends video game fantasy team, based on my friends who are the most dedicated and experienced x-fans, you know who you are). you can aslo combine with other x-men teammates to do classic team up moves like colossus and wolverine's fastball special. i ask again, does this not sound like the greatest game ever?



x-men legends drops on september twenty fourth, exactly seventeen days after my birthday. there must be some incredible numeric symbolism to that, i mean, seventeen has always held a special place in my heart for reasons unknown. maybe the magazine? possibly. anyway, i'm so geeked about this game i could cry.