give me all the amazing people. give me all the amazing, people. of late it's been difficult to engage in conversations with "new" people. new people as in people i didn't know before such and such a time. actually rewind. this is not what i'm trying to talk about.



what i'm saying is, when you talk to people -- as in having a conversation -- what are the topics you talk about? most of the ones that come up are the same things that have to be said in the process of getting to know someone. basic stuff too boring to even list here. after that you may or may not go into topics that reveal a little more personality or intimacy. and then at that point, can you say "yeah, i know that person." some of these topics might be relationships, drugs, sex, rock n roll, lies, videotape, family, opinions on abortion (or some other seemingly "deep" topic), insecurities, and my ex-favorite, religion.. and after having said conversation you feel closer, like you are now friends and you can greet each other next time with genuine warmth.



so this process is getting a bit staid. it's nice of course and often wanted on both sides but i've come to believe that conversation is overrated. at least for now. it had it's time to shine, now the fad has passed. conversation is out. silence is in. DDTing is also still in however. it's contradictory i know.



but see, with these topics, it's like you can kinda get to know someone, or you really do get to know someone, but what do you really know about them? what they think? how they think? why they think? it's all very interesting of course to hear other people speak but sometimes after awhile all that talking gets jumbled up and you could care less (in the nicest way possible of course). and anything amazingly interesting is not really there because half the people you already know about and the other half you don't want to know about. i'm speaking of the world at large -- i love everyone i already know -- or just the people i don't know, or are more...peripheral? bad word choice.



i was supposed to be doing some sort of analysis about how people got to know each other. i don't know where this bitter social diatribe came from. in a pathetic attempt to redeem this post, i will list the things that i think get discussed in a getting to know people situation. in order of most likely to be talked about to least likely. if you follow this path, you will be guaranteed friends. guaranteed.



basics. name. age. occupation. what do you do on weekends. members of family. pets. location history. preferences of movies, music, television, video games. food tastes.



more info. interests (sports, books, cooking, whathaveyou). do you get along with mother/father/brother/sister. occupational goals. likes/dislikes. drink/drug experiences. religious preference. social deviancy. growing up stories and experiences. relationships: past and present. middle name. quirks.



oh so deep. insecurities. relationship ideals. religion. morals. convictions. prejudices. sex. tragedies. motivations. self analysis. fears and sadness. thoughts on other people and the world around you. evil.



notice that thoughts and the things that one thinks about are construed as deep. because our minds are supposedly more "us" and supposedly more "private". also, this list is more or less my own take on it. and sometimes you jump between the lists as opportunity presents itself. say you happen to have a great conversation about religion off the bat with someone, you kind of feel close to them without even knowing the basics. but then oftentimes i find you go back to fill in the more rudimentary stuff to get a fuller picture of who they are. this is my rubrick. use it for good.