and a partridge in a pear tree. this weekend, as a celebration of democracy and consumerism and all things great about america, i bought things that i don't really need. and i bought them in mass quantities. by the way, nobody should ever use "partridge in a pear tree" when ending a list of things. like "3 etcs, 2 etcs and a partridge in a pear tree." it's been overdone. no more damn partridges, please. even if it's christmas and it sounds awfully clever. it's not that clever.



having said that, this weekend i bought two pairs of pants, two jackets, a hat, a wrist accessory, socks and something else i forgot. i have not bought this much stuff in a long time. i felt like i "deserved" it after a month of working. or rather, three and a half weeks of working. cry me a river overprivileged young adult says, i know.



to all those to whom i owe money, it is in my conscious that i owe you serious amounts of money. don't worry, i am AIMing and emailing at work and accruing relative wealth in order to pay you back asap. but these things, these clothes, i needed. nobody wants to see me wearing the same thing over and over, much less me. sometimes you just have to go out and get your shop on. nothing beats walking into a store and going, "man, i like that, i'll take it." christmas is the gifting season.



but to put a damper on this shopping joy, there is such a thing as a "shopping budget." even outfitted with cash in pocket, there is a limited amount that you can buy. so i very carefully budgeted my money before shopping. i had x amount of dollars to spend and i promised not to go over it. guess what? budgeting works. hello government, are you listening? sure i didn't purchase the work pants i was originally shopping for, sure i didn't buy any work shirts i needed, but i've decided that for my two days of non-work, i needed casual clothes. who cares if i wear the same thing to work day after day? it's not a fashion show, it's work! the worst part of shopping is deciding if you really need something. it's like a relationship i suppose. do i really need this? can i live without it? is it worth it? will something better (and cheaper) come along tomorrow or at the next store? all very important questions.



luckily there is the buy and return policy. stretching back for many decades and possibly centuries, this uplifting social program has single handedly saved many people from poor purchases. go green peace. if only relationships/friendships/-ships came with this policy. doesn't fit? exchange it. not the person you thought you were buying? refund with no questions asked please. simple, breezy, and altogether satisfying. there should really be a thirty day money back guarantee on all things in life. we make mistakes, let's not be punished for choices made in the heat of battle or in front of a warped mirror. ok?