fear of flying. i used to grip the seats of the airplane when taking off and landing. i used to freak out when turbulence hit. my stomach would wrench and beads of sweat would bead my brow. what a terrible way to die, falling to earth, plummeting towards the ground with two hundred of your closest strangers tucked two inches away from you. the only way i could combat this fear was to crank up my music and hope for the best. i also tried to not breathe, in case that made a difference. i think that if an airplane crash were to happen to me, i would screw the dubious regulations, turn on my cell phone and call someone to tell them that i was falling. and that i couldn't get up. and then they would be confused, i would laugh, and then the phone would cut off. or i would just scream and scream, hoping that my message got across. maybe i should set up a one touch dial person specifically for this purpose. but what number to assign to "the person in case of emergency?"



anyways, i'm happy to report that my fears have been replaced by nonchalance. and by this fact that i used to post in our bathroom at west quad: more people die annually from riding donkeys than from riding airplanes. very reassuring fact isn't it? but then it was pointed out to me that it was probably a statistic based on percentages. and we know how statistics can lie. and how percentages can lie. like for example if one percent of donkey passengers die but only zero point five percent of airplane passengers die then it's "safer" to ride a donkey. but donkeys don't go very fast. so you have to ride an airplane. one could avoid death from donkeys and airplanes but then how are you gonna get anywhere right? and all the publicity about airplanes crashing don't help my mental state either. when was the last time you heard about a tragic donkey accident, details at ten? doesn't happen. donkeys and their passengers die alone and unpublicized. airplanes and their passengers get magazine covers and tv time.



then i tried to reason things out for myself by thinking about how every time i take to the streets in my car, the chances of me getting into a debilitating accident were far greater than any chance of a fiery airplane death. but that didn't help. it just make we wary of other drivers and how vulnerable i was the craziness and bad driving. but i have conquered my fear of flying with a very simple method. i let it all go. the statistics, the random chaos, the safety measures, the music used to drown out turbulence, whatever. i let it all go. when the plane lurches and dives, i try to keep reading. when rain, thunder and lighting threaten i go "ah, lightning only strikes once." sometimes i try to listen to my sixth sense in an attempt to get that "i should not be on that flight feeling" but it hasn't happened yet. i've also decided that flying is worth more to me than not flying. not flying would mean no traveling, no seeing far away friends, no nothing. so in exchange for a bit of mental discomfort, i'm willing to fly.



plus, airplanes amaze me. i try to think about how amazing it is that we are flying in a huge metal object loaded up with pre-heated meals and soft drinks, instead of thinking about how insane it all might seem to ducks and other winged animals. with a combination of rationale and totally just giving up on caring about an icarean death, i've been able to do away with the clutching and the sweating. and now i can breathe again. with the amount of time i spend in airplanes i've decided that the best thing for me to do is just to stay up as late as i can the night before to enable instant pass out upon boarding the plane.



anyway. my point is. mind over matter. it does work. fear is only cowardice. conquer your fears and you conquer cowards.