to follow through on some thoughts dredged up by yesterday's conversation. this need for recognition, this need to stroke the ego. narcissism. it's something we all want and crave. who doesn't want to recognized for their talents and achievements? people will take that recognition in different forms to be sure, whether it's a hundred people clapping and chanting your name or one person coming up to you and saying "damn that was dope, thank you." it's a tingle when you get encouragement and support. if you love it you will do it but knowing that there are people watching you and noticing you, that's a part of motivation too.



there's an evil side to this need for ego strokage of course, a dark side there is, as with everything in life. some people just need that shit stroked all the freaking day long. those people we ignore. or you know, golf clap. fakely. but let's not talk about those people because those people have some issues. back to positive reinforcement.



having a chance to shine, to be brighted on and lit up, it's not always possible. you need to be comfortable and in your element before certain parts of you come out. oh, one more ego strokage gripe. don't you love it when people will steer conversations or activities towards things that they know they're great at? just so they can show off? like, "oh! let's go skip rocks! by the way, did i mention i was the intergalactic rock skipping champion? teehee!" yeah. those people. or they're real subtle and get a kick out of showing off without really overtly showing off. then again, some people need to show off more because i rather enjoy it when someone is hot shit and they know they're hot shit. if you got it (and i like it) flaunt it. funshine, mario sunshine, shine shine shine. it's all contradictory, i know.



this post is bringing up more negative than positive thoughts about ego-ality. hum, interesting. i think i'll stop until i can collect my thoughts better. but for now.....think about your ego and how you like it to be stroked, it'll be an interesting exercise. promise.