dear mr o'neal (aka big aristotle, big facilitator, big anything),



i am a full blooded chinese person and i would like to extend this letter as encouragment for you to continue being your funny, slam dunking self. your comments about the savior of the nba did not offend me or my asian sensibilities. in fact, i believe what you were trying to say with your "chong-yang-wah-ah-soh" was "i respect your ancestors mr ming, may you get the hell out of my way when i truck you over." i understood that you were trying to be funny. i heard the entire interview and you were cracking jokes about everybody and everything, not just chinese people and mr ming. other incidents, taken together with your comments, may indicate racism in the nba but the actions of an entire league are not solely your responsibility. we must all work together to create a comfortable environment for asians in professional sports. i know you are with us on this one mr shaq. power to the short people! isn't that the name of your next single? i digress...



i apologize if the asian community sometimes has to spring into action just to defend every little slight. some people are saying that your apology is not enough. i am not in that corner. your remarks were perhaps ill-timed and insensitive but not indicative of your personal racist thoughts. when you smack mr ming up for forty points and twenty boards, that's when you'll cross the line into racism. i understand in this time of stress, what with your pathetic lakers lying around on a death bed, that you are trying to add some competitive fire to the season. continue your personal dominance if you can mr o'neal, show them your anger and your fortitude.



respectfully speaking, i do hope that your lakers fall flat on their faces and get crunched in the playoffs. this is not a personal wish, i have all of celtic nation behind me. play on mr o'neal and may good health stay with you for the rest of your nba career.



ps: you were wonderful in blue chips. your wonderful acting in the basketball scenes almost made me believe that i could be a giant black man. you emoted baby. you were not so wonderful in kazaam. sorry. stick to dunking.



disclaimer: shaquille o'neal is the leading light on my fantasy keepr team but that does not, in any way, impair my ability to function in a responsible and rational light. i would extend my invitation to mr o'neal to drop forty and twenty this friday to show me that he is truly angry at asians and mr ming, if only to prove a point of course.