martians from the planet pluto. when do you know someone? when can you say that you know me? what is it that makes people think of you as friend, peer, confidant, advisor? is knowing someone, being close to someone, knowing the things that they do and the activities they undertake? the facts of them? some of these facts are obvious, like general personality traits, general life numbers, school, major, occupation. that's the generic stuff. there's another level below that when you can talk about trivial but interesting facts, like how much someone loves peanut butter and bananas or how someone else is allergic to alchohol. we can trade these little facts around and create an impression of knowing somebody.



but what is knowing? how much do i know you? i can know about you but where do people connect? obviously you can be one at the interest level, by doing things and being involved in creating lives and memories together. but that usually is only one aspect of a person. what is knowing? deep conversations? revealing conversations? knowing some or all of the skeletons in the closet? is that knowing?



or is it being in tune with how someone thinks and reacts. being able to understand and even anticipate how experiences will affect someone. isn't that knowing? some people to me, i feel like i know. but that's always just an assumption. i assume that they let me into their lives enough so that i can say i "know" them. there are lots of people who i may not know many particulars of anymore but i feel like we could share any and all those particulars given the chance. that kind of trust and openness, is that knowing? it's not about who are your best friends and who you hang out with the most, but the people that you know, can you quantify how close you are to them?



it's always odd, when people ask you how well you know that person or this person. because it makes you pause for a second to think, to say whether or not you "know" them or not. this works best in a total stranger, kevin bacon type situations, where you both admit to knowing the third party and then can trade tidbits about them. are facts and knowledge and closeness the same thing?