actuarial accounting of the soul. modern philosophers apparently don't think much of the body-soul dichotomy, to them the question is out of date because the soul is generally no longer thought to be separate from the body. this means that if you're selling your soul, you are also selling your body. and so when you say "i would sell my soul" you are also possibly selling your body. this could imply that by selling your body (ie. prostitution) you are also selling your soul, but we've all seen hollywood movies about golden souled hookers so we know that the converse is not true.



aniwaise, this leads me to wonder how much my soul might be worth, assuming it were a separate saleable entity. i could, of course, offer to sell my body but why bother. my arms and legs are probably worth a grand total of five dollars and my left limbs are probably worth less (one is defaced, the other is missing cartilage). so if i had to sell something, i might as well get rid of the big enchilada, my ethereal soul.



now, my soul is certainly not priceless, people sell souls away everyday. to religions, to mtv, to anything really. maybe somehow, because we can't see a soul, it is at the same time less and more precious than we can imagine. my soul in particular is mostly in flux so i figured i would sell early so i can market it as "malleable and filled with creamy potential." old souls tend to be crusty and belligerent, or even worse, cute. my soul is pretty clean, no missing parts, no permanent smudge marks, no moral stains or highly regrettable actions. this soul also comes with a guilty free conscience, a bonus in this day and age. all of which leads me to believe that i would start the bidding on my soul at about seven hundred million dollars. with a buy it now price of one billion. sounds excessive i know. but quite honestly, if my soul is going to the highest bidder i have to ensure the future finanancial security of my children and my children's children. not to mention that daddy needs a brand new bag. and shoes and jackets and clothes in general.



alternately, i could be convinced to sell my soul for a lifetime supply of gas. especially today, since my main mode of transportation is sitting forlornly in my garage, drained of fuel to the extent that i can't even get it to start. bugger. the american dream comes to a crashing halt when your car has no gas.



so now as i ponder where my path should take me in the upcoming years --whether it be an itinerant beach bum or a successful wall street caricature-- i will know that i should not sell my principles and my convictions for anything less than seven hundred mill. anything less would be cheating myself and my future progeny. by the way, there is no end date on this auction, serious bids are welcome at any and all times. for this bargain basement price i would follow you wherever you would go. way up high. or down low.



next. what price dreams?