we saw the most beautiful thing the other night. after clubbing in LA. at a mexican joint. rodrigo's. let me set it up for you. the scene: parking lot of the aforementioned mexican restaurant. the situation: two guys about to get it on. one guy was taking off his outer shirt and yelling at a smaller guy. the usual stuff like, "you don't know who i am!" "let's go!" "c'mon on!" and the ever popular "fucker!!!" i didn't catch any names so i'm gonna substitute "bobby" and "horace" for their identities.



horace was a little smaller but he had his friend and his girlfriend holding him back. bobby and horace yelled and yelled at each other, squawking at each other and pacing in little violent circles. by this time, bobby's veins were bursting out of his bald head and it looked like he really wanted to fight. but horace's girlfriend wouldn't let him get at horace. she kept on screaming, "if you want to touch him! you're gonna have to hit me first!" and of course bobby couldn't hit a girl so he just circled in frustration. we were leaning against the car watching this whole thing play out. victor was so involved in the drama that at one point he was practically standing in the fight zone. me and hong motioned for him to come stand with us. thus saving his life. victor. you can buy us dinner later.



after a good five-ten minutes of yelling. bobby and horace were....still yelling. at this point, we pretty much decided nothing was going to happen because nobody yells for five-ten minutes and then fights. for some unfathomable reason, horace and his girlfriend were the ones yelling at each other now. he kept on telling her to get out of the way. and she refused because she didn't want him to fight. awwwn. how cute.



i kind of lost interest in the whole affair after a few minutes of watching their make up fighting. suddenly, after a good twenty minutes of yelling, horace and bobby were working out their differences. conflict resolution. it was beautiful. bobby said he was insulted because horace called him "cuz," which i guess implies he was a gangbanger. and so bobby wanted to settle the score and prove that he wasn't a gangbanger by pounding horace's face in. there's something inherently wrong about bobby's logic. but i can't quite put my finger on it. i'm only an unfinished philosophy major after all. horace and bobby did the palm slap, man hug thing and they parted amiably. with nothing except spit exchanged. i witnessed firsthand the awesome power of "love thy neighbor" and let me tell you, it isn't half as entertaining as a full out brawl.



but hey. violence is for kindergarden. we're adults now. we don't fight. we conflict resolute.