pausing for station identification. i'm trying to think of acts of malicious intent. doing something that you know would hurt someone and continuing with it even though you get nothing out of it except the joy of seeing someone in pain. most painful, hurtful acts are, in my experience, somewhat inadvertent and ultimately selfish. and i use selfish in the best way possible. as in, hurting this person is a terrible side effect and not the main goal. but i wonder if i've ever done anything to hurt someone, without having a good reason for it. or not even a good reason, but just a reason. i tend to think, at least philosophically, that you should always do what is best for you. and if that somehow hurts other people, it's terrible, but it must be done. there is rarely much hesitancy or regret on my part, when i know my actions will hurt someone but lies in my best interest, that i don't go ahead and do it.



but i am sure there are actions like this. where it would be "better" to watch out for the best interest of others as opposed to yours. i've done both i'm sure. hurting others as a side-effect and as a central theme. i think we all have. or maybe we all haven't. but it's something to think about. the actions that people undertake can be nasty and cry worthy but rarely are they so malicious and sadistic that they can be called "wrong." it's all a matter of perspective and "knowing the whole story." this is much easier of course, when the defendent is me. or someone i know. some things, as hurtful as they are, just have to be done. for the good of yourself.



however, pain hurts all the same doesn't it?



how much of a responsibility can you take for the feelings and hurts of others? and if you choose to accept all responsibilty, are you losing yourself in the process? always trying to walk the cleanest path? unwilling to offend others or direct pain at them? and i wonder if this would be admirable or despicable.