aaaaaahhhhhh. i'm typing this with one arm resting on my armchair. the elbow doesn't bend or straighten right now. i hurt it today during the last game of a six game losing streak. i went up in the air, maybe a whole foot or two, and then crash landed on wrists and elbow. i didn't even know i could jump anymore. i thought perhaps such a spectacular fall, such an extreme effort in going for a blocked shot, would be rewarded by the basketball gods and allow them to turn the game in our favor. but instead. we lost. 15-14 i believe. typical. we didn't win the whole night. let me emphasize that. the whole night. as in not once. as in, we played the same guys for six games and lost every one. there is no pain like "we suck" pain. frustration creeps.



i think the only time i'm really emotional is playing basketball. i yell, i clap, i make weird noises, i say "short" everytime my guys shoots, even if he's having a banner day. i clap for the other team. i scream at my teammates. i spit in disgust. i spit in anger. i smoke in-between games. i pretend i know everything. i refuse to run down on D after a crappy play. but then afterwards i'm a perfect gentleman. go teamwork.



i wish i had mad game so i could actually trash talk instead of screaming things like "gonorrhea" or "the aliens are coming." i'm hoping to confuse opponents with strange and innane sayings. i've read that the mental game is more important than the physical but i feel like the verbal game is important too.