children and other small things. it's so easy to curry favor with children. give them candy and gifts when they're in their formative stages and they'll love you forever. they'll hold you up as someone they like. and when they grow into young adults/teenagers, they'll keep that image of you in their mind. that's what happens to me, with uncles and aunts and older people. it's a bit shattering when you learn that they may not be these great people. that they have huge crippling flaws that make them not such a good person. but i guess as long as you continue to get the candy, you can keep certain perceptions alive.



everyone wants to be complimented. to be told the "right" things. and it makes you feel good. sometimes that borders on narcissism to the nth degree. because you have a tendency to like the people that like you. if they verbally tell you things that you like about yourself. it's like you say "oh, they see the real me." and when people say hurtful things or things that seem hurtful, is there a tendency to tune that out? should these comments be taken more seriously though? because in every statement is a germ of truth? i tend to let bad things slide off. toss them aside because "they just don't understand." but what if they do. what if these people see the truth and aren't deluded by what you present but actually see past all that? accepting all that is part of it too.



how do you tell people things that you see as self evident but will ultimately be hurtful. can you see these things within yourself? do you want to know? will it hurt us if i tell you? is it far better to be silent and supportive? calling someone out, that's truth. that's also bitterness and unawareness. but it's all interconnected to who you are and what you are. people don't want to be exposed but you can't hide forever. it's impossible.