More Than Meets the Eye

A few months ago, while we were all at a bar in DC, the topic came up of "Who is your nemesis?" In fact, it kind of became the question of the week as we tried to figure who each other's nemeses were and such. It was a pretty exciting question. The problem was, people were kind of confusing nemeses with archenemies. My definition for nemesis was basically that while you may not necessarily like them, they are certainly in your life in this way that's unavoidable, and thus you kind of tolerate each other. Also, it's very likely you share a similar social niche -- or have fought over a girl (guy). You don't hate them though, because then that would be crossing the line from nemesis to archenemy.

Well, leave it up to Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs author Chuck Klosterman to have already covered this exact topic four years ago. Shit. I can't even talk about this topic anymore because Chuck already broke it down so well. So read on and then think about who your nemesis might be. And should you find that you've also got an archenemy, it goes without saying that I will help you defeat him/her/it. After all, knowing is only half the battle. The other half is us teaming up and kicking ass.

"What you need is a) one quality nemesis, and b) one archenemy. These are the two most important characters in the life of any successful human. We measure ourselves against our nemeses, and we long to destroy our archenemies. Nemeses and archenemies are the catalysts for everything.

Now, I know that you're probably asking yourself, How do I know the difference between my nemesis and my archenemy? Here is the short answer: You kind of like your nemesis, despite the fact that you despise him. If your nemesis invited you out for cocktails, you would accept the offer. If he died, you would attend his funeral and -- privately -- you might shed a tear over his passing.

But you would never have drinks with your archenemy, unless you were attempting to spike his gin with hemlock. If you were to perish, your archenemy would dance on your grave, and then he'd burn down your house and molest your children. You hate your archenemy so much that you try to keep your hatred secret, because you don't want your archenemy to have the satisfaction of being hated."
-The Importance of Being Hated-