what is this feeling? i got a chance to re-watch wicked again. my stated goal is to watch it anytime it's showing near me. which i hope amounts to at least once a year for the rest of my life. i love it that much. for unrevealed reasons, hong almost made me late to the show. i was straight panicking about not being let in until after the opening number. i rarely stress out, this was one of those times.

it's always jarring to see something live after you're used to the recorded versions. people will be off-key, harmonies will be totally wrong, the sound will be jacked up, it's never picture perfect. for some forms of musical entertainment, the energy will capably substitute for studio perfection. for a musical that you've listened to time and time again, it takes quite awhile to let go of the idea that "this is imperfect, this is live, why does this sound weird?" having said that, wicked is still the greatest musical ever. i'm so glad that i have memory issues because many of the jokes and moments still genuinely surprise me. i'm not anticipating anything, and i can see things through new eyes again.

it's tragic, however, when you want people around you to feel the same things that you do. when you are obsessed with something, you want to find others who are equally obsessed (and for the same reasons). you can't force this kind of obsession on anyone. it's either just there...or not. i think that's when people most feel like islands, when they can't get anyone to relate to them. luckily, i have a handful of friends who relate to wicked like i do -- at least on most levels. it's not a thing to overlook.

some of the performers came out afterward the show for a cast q&a. most of the questions were posed by wicked obsessed little girls. their questions ranged from "how long does it take to put on the green make-up" to "when elphaba and fiyero kiss, is it a real kiss?" it's crazy to see the performers in street clothes mere moments after seeing them on-stage. the characters are stripped away and the pounding thought you have through your head is "wow, they are so normal!" the actors/actresses were funny, erudite, sarcastic, inspired, and seemed grateful and genuine. at first i thought sitting through a q&a would be akin to pulling the curtain on the wizard, revealing his magic, instead it just enhanced the mystery.